Growing up, my parents had two different approaches to emotions. One, my mother, expressed them all the time and the other, my father, never expressed them at all, believing that showing emotion was a sign of weakness. As I write this, I now know that my household was not all that uncommon. What I have learned over my life time is that many people struggle to balance their emotional experiences because we were never taught that emotions are natural, universal, and intelligent. Instead, we were taught that unpleasant emotions were not welcome and somehow had to be controlled!
Being a more “right-brained” human, I tried my best to control my emotions over the years, having internalized the cultural myth that emotions can be controlled. What tools are available to use in a war to try and control unpleasant emotions? Exercise? Shopping? Work? Food? Yes, Yes, Yes and Yes! Over the years, work and food took center stage for me as my weapons of choice.
I didn’t understand then that those weapons were pointed at me, trying to harm or shut up a significant source of my innate human intelligence, the part of my intelligence that was trying to tell me that my needs were not being met in that moment. I used those weapons to attempt to distract myself from a sense of overwhelm and loss of control. Work became a source of comfort for the part of me that wanted to have a voice and food became a source of comfort for the part of me that believed it had just survived a life-challenging event, where it had navigated through the overwhelm and came out on the other side. Food became almost a reward for making it through each day, with my thoughts saying “You did a good job, so you deserve to treat yourself to a big meal” and my body initially responding to the food intake with a release of tension, almost as if it was thanking me for finally giving it fuel to continue to live. Now I recognize the need that was not getting met in the moment was comfort!
Before the diagnosis of binge-eating disorder (BED) officially made it into the DSM-V in 2013, I would (and still do) describe my past, unhealthy relationship with food as an emotional eating disorder. I had bought into the “comfort food” phenomenon, where people seek out certain foods that create a temporary elevation of mood and a sense of relaxation. It was only after spending time with a compassionate therapist and discovering yoga as a replacement tool was I able to befriend my emotions and my body enough to listen to what they were trying to tell me. When I gave them “on air” time, I was able to become more aware of how I used food to soothe and distract from facing the fear and feeling the sting of powerful emotions, such as shame and rejection.
It was my own personal journey of learning to sit with my powerful emotions and honor that they serve me that brought my emotions into balance, so they don’t feel so overwhelming and scary anymore (and no longer show up in the most inappropriate places!). In fact, when I start to feel overwhelmed, it is a red flag to “STOP” and reevaluate what I need to bring back balance. By welcoming and accepting all of my emotions, I was able to establish a healthy relationship to food, recognizing food as simply fuel for my vehicle, so I could begin to make food choices that might be considered “premium gas” for my body.
It is also my own personal healing journey that has informed my work as a psychotherapist, embracing emotion-focused therapy as my “go to” approach. What I learned – and share with my clients – is that as humans, we all have emotions and would not want to control them because they inform us, as they are a powerful source of intelligence. So how excited was I when I read new research that validated my personal experience! This research confirmed that the experience of unpleasant emotions is among the most accurate predictors for binge eating episodes in BED and individuals with BED often experience difficulties with deficits in emotion regulation. It looked at the effectiveness of emotion-focused therapy to reduce the reliance on an eating disorder as an emotional coping mechanism and the evidence is emerging for the benefits of EFT for BED!
If you would like to read the full research article, click the link below:
5 Intention-setting Ideas to Cultivate Compassion
/in Newsletter/by LindaMore and more research is suggesting that compassion is the antidote to what ails us as humans, both individually and on a larger societal level. So, if the answer is simple (yet perhaps not so easy), how might we contribute to the healing of the world that has such a compassion-deficit at this time?
We must first acknowledge that as humans, we experience fear and pain, which open the door to suffering. Whether the fear and pain are experienced physically, mentally, emotionally, socially, and/or spiritually, they cannot be avoided. It is part of the human condition. Suffering, on the other hand, is something that can be avoided. Suffering is a response – or choice – to the fear and pain. The practice of compassion has been shown to trigger the release of oxytocin, often referred to as the happy hormone. Any increase in happiness reduces the experience of suffering.
Next, we must consciously tap into our heart space and exercise our compassion muscles to keep them active and strong. Therefore, below I provide intention-setting ideas to help support the cultivation of compassion in your own life, so that you can spread the happiness around. I hope you will consider trying one!
As always, if you try any of these intention-setting ideas for holistic health, I would love to hear about the impact they might have had for you. Please send me an email at linda@sanctuary4compassion.com to share!
Virtual Reiki-infused Sound Healing and Meditation Class!
/in Events/by LindaVirtual Community Gathering Practice Tips
We understand that this is not the ideal way to come together to practice and how sometimes just the thought of more technology might bring shivers down our spines. Accepting that it’s OK to feel intimidated is the first step. We are doing our best to make the connection simple and easy. Harnessing the warrior energy within will help you to face any tech fears you might have and join us!
Once you let us know that you are interested in attending, we will send you an email that will include details around what is needed from you, including:
To facilitate the benefits of such a virtual community practice at home, below we have provided some helpful hints:
Restorative Yoga Tips and Props
On the day of the class, here are some additional recommendations to create a more sacred space in advance for your practice:
In home prop ideas:
When emotional dysregulation has us in its grip, might direct neurofeedback help?
/in Neurofeedback/by LindaWhen we are born, the parts of our brain that are driving the car are the ones responsible for our emotions. The prominent logical part of our brain – the prefrontal cortex – doesn’t start to grow until between the ages of 1 and 2 years of age, with the most important years in a child’s development extending to the age of 3. During these first 3 years of life, it is critical that a child receives warmth, love and responsive care. Otherwise, the child is at greater risk of experiencing an interpersonal traumatic attachment injury, which impacts the brain’s development, leading to growing fears of abandonment/rejection and emotional dysregulation. Basically, the emotional brain highjacks the logical brain and remains in the driver’s seat, possibly for life!
If a child does not experience the warmth and care they need from a primary care giver, dysfunctional symptoms begin to emerge as a result of such a traumatic attachment injury. These symptoms will lead to a diagnosis of Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) in childhood, if the child is fortunate enough to have someone in their lives to intervene and secure the support that is needed. If not, the child will adapt in ways to maintain safety, yet will not outgrow the symptoms. As an adult, the symptoms now get a different diagnosis – and are labeled as a personality disorder.
One of those labeled personality disorders is borderline personality disorder (BPD). This diagnosis is characterized by emotional dysregulation and poor executive function, which includes adaptable thinking, self-monitoring, and self-control. Serious symptoms include impulsive, self-destructive behaviors, including self-injury and suicide attempts. People suffering the symptoms of BPD find it difficult to establish and maintain stable, trusting relationships because of the fear of abandonment from significant others. Therefore, it can be difficult to heal through traditional psychotherapy alone, since the therapeutic relationship is one that is based on trust.
This dilemma then begs the question of whether direct neurofeedback might support people who are have been diagnosed with BPD, perhaps facilitating their healing journey. Well, recent research took a look at if, and how, such an intervention might be helpful. What this research showed was that increasing the activity of the dorsolateral prefrontal cortex through repeated stimulation via direct neurofeedback significantly improved major executive functioning and cognitive control over negative emotions, bringing hope to many!
To read more, click on the link below:
5 Intention-setting Ideas to Build Courage This Spring
/in Newsletter/by LindaThe fear that this pandemic has created is palpable. It is impacting all of us in some way. It is tapping into our primal sense of survival and bringing up stuff we thought was resolved long ago, but was perhaps simply hidden from view. Well as the days begin to grow longer, the light and warmth of the spring invite us to move through the darkness, face our fears and step into the light.
But how do we gather the courage to do so?
Below I provide intention-setting ideas on how to exercise our courage muscle (think your heart) in a healthy way to reduce the control fear has on your life, inviting in more confidence, joy and peace. I hope you will consider trying one!
As always, if you try any of these intention-setting ideas for holistic health, I would love to hear about the impact they might have had for you. Please send me an email at linda@sanctuary4compassion.com to share!
Virtual Reiki-infused Sound Healing and Meditation Class!
/in Events/by LindaVirtual Community Gathering Practice Tips
We understand that this is not the ideal way to come together to practice and how sometimes just the thought of more technology might bring shivers down our spines. Accepting that it’s OK to feel intimidated is the first step. We are doing our best to make the connection simple and easy. Harnessing the warrior energy within will help you to face any tech fears you might have and join us!
Once you let us know that you are interested in attending, we will send you an email that will include details around what is needed from you, including:
To facilitate the benefits of such a virtual community practice at home, below we have provided some helpful hints:
Restorative Yoga Tips and Props
On the day of the class, here are some additional recommendations to create a more sacred space in advance for your practice:
In home prop ideas:
Can welcoming and accepting our unpleasant emotions change an unhealthy relationship to food?
/in Talk Therapy/by LindaGrowing up, my parents had two different approaches to emotions. One, my mother, expressed them all the time and the other, my father, never expressed them at all, believing that showing emotion was a sign of weakness. As I write this, I now know that my household was not all that uncommon. What I have learned over my life time is that many people struggle to balance their emotional experiences because we were never taught that emotions are natural, universal, and intelligent. Instead, we were taught that unpleasant emotions were not welcome and somehow had to be controlled!
Being a more “right-brained” human, I tried my best to control my emotions over the years, having internalized the cultural myth that emotions can be controlled. What tools are available to use in a war to try and control unpleasant emotions? Exercise? Shopping? Work? Food? Yes, Yes, Yes and Yes! Over the years, work and food took center stage for me as my weapons of choice.
I didn’t understand then that those weapons were pointed at me, trying to harm or shut up a significant source of my innate human intelligence, the part of my intelligence that was trying to tell me that my needs were not being met in that moment. I used those weapons to attempt to distract myself from a sense of overwhelm and loss of control. Work became a source of comfort for the part of me that wanted to have a voice and food became a source of comfort for the part of me that believed it had just survived a life-challenging event, where it had navigated through the overwhelm and came out on the other side. Food became almost a reward for making it through each day, with my thoughts saying “You did a good job, so you deserve to treat yourself to a big meal” and my body initially responding to the food intake with a release of tension, almost as if it was thanking me for finally giving it fuel to continue to live. Now I recognize the need that was not getting met in the moment was comfort!
Before the diagnosis of binge-eating disorder (BED) officially made it into the DSM-V in 2013, I would (and still do) describe my past, unhealthy relationship with food as an emotional eating disorder. I had bought into the “comfort food” phenomenon, where people seek out certain foods that create a temporary elevation of mood and a sense of relaxation. It was only after spending time with a compassionate therapist and discovering yoga as a replacement tool was I able to befriend my emotions and my body enough to listen to what they were trying to tell me. When I gave them “on air” time, I was able to become more aware of how I used food to soothe and distract from facing the fear and feeling the sting of powerful emotions, such as shame and rejection.
It was my own personal journey of learning to sit with my powerful emotions and honor that they serve me that brought my emotions into balance, so they don’t feel so overwhelming and scary anymore (and no longer show up in the most inappropriate places!). In fact, when I start to feel overwhelmed, it is a red flag to “STOP” and reevaluate what I need to bring back balance. By welcoming and accepting all of my emotions, I was able to establish a healthy relationship to food, recognizing food as simply fuel for my vehicle, so I could begin to make food choices that might be considered “premium gas” for my body.
It is also my own personal healing journey that has informed my work as a psychotherapist, embracing emotion-focused therapy as my “go to” approach. What I learned – and share with my clients – is that as humans, we all have emotions and would not want to control them because they inform us, as they are a powerful source of intelligence. So how excited was I when I read new research that validated my personal experience! This research confirmed that the experience of unpleasant emotions is among the most accurate predictors for binge eating episodes in BED and individuals with BED often experience difficulties with deficits in emotion regulation. It looked at the effectiveness of emotion-focused therapy to reduce the reliance on an eating disorder as an emotional coping mechanism and the evidence is emerging for the benefits of EFT for BED!
If you would like to read the full research article, click the link below:
5 Intention-setting Ideas to Embrace Your Values
/in Newsletter/by LindaOur culture informs us that our needs are not important and instead suggests that it is better to focus on the needs of others. However, what if I were to say that our needs are our personal values. Would that make a difference in how you think about and embrace your needs?
As humans, we all have needs. It might be the need for beauty in our lives or the need to be treated respectfully. Having needs or values does NOT mean you are needy or selfish!
Why is any of this important? Why am I focusing on this topic? Well, because embracing our personal values is a huge step forward in finding and maintaining inner peace. Being unaware of our values can be compared to driving our car without a destination in mind, where it might appear to others that we are moving ahead, yet we actually feel lost or overwhelmed.
So, below for each benefit of embracing your values, I have also included an exercise to help you identify yours for yourself. If you have done this in the past, it might be fun to try it again, as your values do evolve as you change and grow. I hope you will consider trying one!
As always, if you try any of these intention-setting ideas for holistic health, I would love to hear about the impact they might have had for you. Please send me an email at linda@sanctuary4compassion.com to share!
Virtual Reiki-infused Sound Healing and Meditation Class!
/in Events/by LindaVirtual Community Gathering Practice Tips
We understand that this is not the ideal way to come together to practice and how sometimes just the thought of more technology might bring shivers down our spines. Accepting that it’s OK to feel intimidated is the first step. We are doing our best to make the connection simple and easy. Harnessing the warrior energy within will help you to face any tech fears you might have and join us!
Once you let us know that you are interested in attending, we will send you an email that will include details around what is needed from you, including:
To facilitate the benefits of such a virtual community practice at home, below we have provided some helpful hints:
Restorative Yoga Tips and Props
On the day of the class, here are some additional recommendations to create a more sacred space in advance for your practice:
In home prop ideas:
Can yoga change your brain?
/in Yoga/by LindaWhat if we could see inside of our brains when we are practicing our deep breathing, sun salutations, and savasana? Would you want to see/know what parts of your brain are being turned on and off or growing and shrinking? Well, this might not quite be reality yet, however, with neuroimaging technology what it is today, it is pretty close! When I started my yoga practice almost 20 years ago, I didn’t know what the practice did to my brain if anything, I just felt relief each time I left class. Now, all these years later, it excites me to know that it supported my brain’s own natural ability to heal.
Before discovering yoga, I was a workaholic that was in a constant state of flight or fight with the world around me. I figured I had inherited my mother’s anxiety and there was nothing I could really do about it. Boy was I wrong! My first yoga class spoke to me in a way that I had never experienced before, calling me back to the mat that first year 5 to 6 times a week. I thought it had become my new addiction, yet it changed me so profoundly that I was finally able to find the long sought after balance I craved in my life.
I believed yoga was a huge contributor to my healing journey, although at the time I might not have fully understood how it worked. Today, with the integration of neuroimaging and neurophysiological techniques into the study of yoga, research has begun to reveal consistent structural and functional changes in the brain. With the benefit of magnetic resonance imaging (MRI), positron emission tomography (PET) and/or single-photon emission computed tomography (SPECT) scanning, the benefits of yoga are lighting up our brains!
Although the various research studies have looked at different aspects of yoga, such as movement versus meditation as well as styles of yoga, these studies reflect relatively consistent cerebral structural and functional changes. What this tells me is that you can’t do it wrong! It doesn’t matter if you practice Iyengar, Yin, Hatha and/or Kundalini yoga, it will help your brain. It doesn’t matter if you practice movement, breathing techniques, meditation or chant, it will help your brain. And with all of the different approaches, including Kids and Chair yoga, yoga is available to help our brains throughout the entire life cycle.
Fast forward with the increasing popularity of yoga worldwide, research is still scarce in yogis yet it is expanding with the assistance of neuroimaging. And this research is showing that yoga effects the brain both structurally and functionally, specifically in areas involving interoception, posture, motivation, and higher executive functions. Moving forward, more research is needed to reflect the changes in the brain through neuroimaging when the brain is suffering from the effects of anxiety, depression, PTSD and other stress-induced mental health challenges. I would have loved to see what my brain looked like before discovering yoga and after integrating my practice into my everyday life. I think the results would have been very validating!
5 Intention-setting Ideas to Improve the Health of Mother Earth
/in Newsletter/by LindaAs I finished working on my vision board for the first half of 2021 under the ‘Star of Bethlehem’ on December 21st, a clear intention emerged: a renewed focus my desire to support the health of Mother Earth, through whatever efforts are available to me. One of the things the pandemic has brought into our awareness more profoundly is that nature is a key element in maintaining our mental and physical health. And we all are stewards of our precious resources.
2020 was also the 50th anniversary of Earth Day and the ‘Do Just 1 Thing’ campaign was launched, to help individuals to not feel so overwhelmed with the existential threat of global climate change. If each of us simply embrace just one small thing, together we will have a huge impact on protecting the habitats of wildlife, cleaning up polluted air, water and land, and conserving out natural resources.
So, below I have listed some intentions, some simple and some offering a stretch. What one thing might light the fire of your ecological passion? I hope you will consider trying one!
As always, if you try any of these intention-setting ideas for holistic health, I would love to hear about the impact they might have had for you. Please send me an email at linda@sanctuary4compassion.com to share!