New Year Vision Board Playshop!

/in /by

5 Intention-setting Ideas to Bust the Myths of Suicide

/in /by

Suicide Prevention Month

Suicide is a public health crisis that affects millions of people worldwide.  Unfortunately, many misconceptions and myths exist around it, which hinder understanding, empathy, and effective prevention.  September is Suicide Prevention Month to help raise awareness of suicide prevention and of actions that can be taken to promote healing, offer help, and give hope.

Below are some intention-setting ideas for busting some of the most common myths:

  1. Ask.   Myth: Talking about suicide will make someone more likely to act on it.  Actually, research findings suggest that people who are having thoughts of suicide feel relief when someone asks about them in a caring way and that acknowledging and talking about suicide may reduce rather than increase suicidal ideation.  So, if you are concerned about someone you care about, please consider asking them if they are having suicidal thoughts.
  2. Listen deeply.  Myth: People who talk about suicide are just seeking attention.  The fact is talking about suicide can actually be a critical step in prevention. It opens up communication, provides an opportunity to offer your support, and helps the person feel less isolated and alone.  People who talk about suicide are seeking connection, not attention.  If someone you care about tells you they are thinking about suicide, consider providing support by deepening your connection with them through a compassionate and caring conversation.
  3. Empathize. Myth: Suicide is a result of personal weakness or a lack of willpower.  This is a very harmful stereotype.  Suicidal thoughts are often a result of overwhelming emotional pain and a sense of hopelessness.  People who die by suicide are not weak; they are simply overwhelmed by circumstances they feel unable to cope with.  If someone reaches out to you for support, the most effective intervention you can do is to listen with empathy and be non-judgmental.  The main thing that someone needs in these spaces is to be heard and not judged.
  4. Learn.  Myth: Only people with mental illnesses commit suicide.  Although mental illnesses, such as bipolar disorder and schizophrenia, are significant risk factors for suicide, people who experience loss or significant stressors (without a mental health diagnosis) can also be at risk.  Do you know anyone that has experienced one of these significant life events:  unemployment, relationship problems, child abuse, bullying, traumatic brain injury, chronic pain and/or chronic health issue?  Are you aware that all of these are triggers that can activate suicidal thoughts or heighten suicide risk?  To learn more about the risk factors for suicide, consider visiting the National Association of Mental Illness’ website.
  5. Encourage.  Myth: If someone is truly suicidal, there’s nothing you can do to stop them.  People in crisis often feel that their pain will never end.  It’s important to remember that people who are suicidal are often in a state of extreme distress.  They may not be able to think clearly or rationally.  With appropriate help and support, many find that their situation can improve.  Intervention can offer solutions and relief that individuals in crisis may not be able to see at the moment on their own.  It’s important to take any mention of suicide seriously. Consider encouraging your loved ones that might have shared their experience of suicidal thoughts to seek support from a mental health professional to address their underlying pain.  If you or someone you know is struggling with suicidal thoughts, please reach out for help.  Below are some resources:
  • 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline:  Call or text 988
  • The Trevor Project:  1-866-488-7386
  • The Jed Foundation

What is shame and why might it be important to talk about it?

/in /by

I imagine we all can identify something that we experienced in the past that we feel ashamed of. I know I can. I can also imagine that most of us simply try to ignore any memories of that experience, to avoid the uncomfortable emotions it might bring up for us. Unfortunately, shame is like toxic mold. It doesn’t go away unless you shine a light on it and let the air hit it.

 Shame is complex. It is an emotion that includes feelings of unworthiness, inadequacy, and/or embarrassment about yourself. It is different than guilt. Guilt arises in response to specific actions or behaviors and we think “I did something wrong”. Guilt comes in service to guide us back to acting in ways that align with our core values that make up our authentic self. Shame, on the other hand, arises in response to a perceived personal failure or shortcoming and we think “I am wrong or bad” about ourselves.

 It is important to understand that when we experience shame, we tend to internalize it, which leads to negative self-beliefs and self-criticism. Shame affects our self-esteem and contributes to mental health issues, like anxiety, depression and post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). It can be heavily influenced by our social and cultural contexts, such as societal expectations, family dynamics, and cultural norms. For example, cultural standards about appearance, success, or gender roles might evoke feelings of shame if we don’t conform to such standards.

 When we experience those powerful and uncomfortable feelings of shame, which activate the thoughts around our inherent unworthiness or inadequacy, we tend to turn towards potentially unhealthy coping strategies to deny, distract from, cover up or numb those emotions. We might also experience a desire to withdraw or isolate ourselves from others. These behavioral responses are natural adaptive responses, yet such behaviors can lead to physical and mental health challenges. In fact, research has shown that trauma-related shame is connected to the development and maintenance of PTSD.

 Understanding that shame is a common experience for us humans is a first step toward releasing its grip. Recognizing how social and cultural messages can contribute to the creation of shame is also important. Unfortunately, this awareness and understanding is often not enough to kill that toxic mold that lives in the dark recesses of our minds and bodies. Addressing shame often involves identifying and working through deep-seated feelings and challenging the negative self-beliefs that grew from the toxic mold.

 There is a growing body of research that suggests not only can talk therapy help in understanding the roots of our shame but developing the skill of self compassion can reduce those powerful and uncomfortable feelings that have us thinking we are inherently bad or flawed. One recent proof-of-concept study combined cognitive techniques with loving-kindness meditations to specifically target shame in trauma-exposed patients. The findings supported positive outcomes and led to reductions in trauma-related shame and PTSD symptoms.

Loving Kindness Meditation to Reduce Shame

5 Intention-setting Ideas for Living a Long, Healthy Life!

/in /by

Since I have been unsuccessful in discovering the fountain of youth, I decided to watch a documentary on blue zones.  It inspired me to share the growing body of evidence that is embodied by the people living in these places.  If you are not familiar with blue zones (and you have Netflix), consider watching Live to 100: Secrets of the Blue Zones.  If you prefer, you can read more here, where the research of Dan Buettner, Blue Zones founder, is offered on the original five blue zones he identified:  Okinawa, Japan; Sardinia, Italy; Nicoya, Costa Rica; Ikaria, Greece; and Loma Linda, California.  These blue zones are regions around the world where people are known to live longer and healthier than the global average.

By adopting specific lifestyle habits, instead of searching for the elusive fountain of youth, individuals can potentially increase their chances of living longer, healthier lives.

Below are some intention-setting ideas drawn from the lived experience of people from these blue zones:

  1. Prioritize plants.   Blue Zone inhabitants typically focus on plant-based foods that are high in nutrients and antioxidants, consuming only small amounts of meat and dairy.  So perhaps consider placing a higher priority on a plant-based diet rich in vegetables, fruits, whole grains, nuts, and seeds.
  2. Move.  Blue Zone inhabitants rely on daily natural movement instead of intense workouts for ‘physical exercise’.  These activities included walking, gardening, dancing and/or cycling that support maintaining strength, flexibility, and cardiovascular health.  Think about your one natural movement passion and consider prioritizing it on a daily basis.
  3. Get social.  Blue Zone inhabitants actively cultivate strong social connections and prioritize family and community bonds. To support your overall well-being, perhaps prioritize regularly spending time with loved ones and participating in community activities.
  4. Reduce stress.  Having tools to manage stress is crucial to longevity as much research has shown chronic stress negatively impacts our physical, emotional, and mental health.  Blue Zone inhabitants employed such stress-reducing techniques as meditation, mindfulness, and/or yoga.  Consider exploring different stress reduction tools to discover the one that works best for you and integrate it into a daily practice.
  5. Purpose.  Blue Zone inhabitants displayed enhanced motivation, resilience, and overall life satisfaction that was connected to experiencing a sense of purpose in their lives.  Discovering your purpose is a life-long journey not a destination.  It will evolve over time as you gain new experiences and insights.  So consider seeking meaningful experiences by engaging in activities that challenge and inspire you.  Perhaps you volunteer for causes you care about or pursue hobbies that excite you.  When you notice and pay attention to those moments where you feel most alive and fulfilled, you will discover your purpose!

5 Intention-setting Ideas for Self-Certified Foodies

/in /by

National Culinary Arts Month!

Celebrating National Culinary Arts Month can be a delightful experience, whether you’re a food enthusiast, a professional chef, or simply someone who appreciates good food.  Celebrating National Culinary Arts Month is all about indulging your love for food and exploring the rich tapestry of flavors, techniques, and cultures that make up the culinary world. Whether you’re cooking at home, dining out, or learning something new, enjoy the journey through food!

Below are some intention-setting ideas to make the most of this culinary celebration:

  1. Farmers’ Market Tour.   If you are not a regular visitor to your local farmer’s marker, consider visiting one (or several) to discover fresh, seasonal ingredients and chat with vendors about their products..
  2. Try New Recipes.  If you enjoy cooking, perhaps challenge yourself to cook a new dish from a different cuisine or style that you’ve always wanted to try.
  3. Food and Wine Pairing. If you enjoy drinking different types of wine with your meals, consider learning more about food and wine pairing either by experimenting with different combinations at home or attending a tasting event.
  4. Visit Local Restaurants.  If you don’t enjoy cooking or simply want a break from it, perhaps plan to support a local restaurant to explore new flavors or ordering takeout from places known for their culinary excellence.
  5. Volunteer.  Whether you enjoy cooking or not, consider donating your time by volunteering at a local soup kitchen, community center, or food bank.

5 Intention-setting Ideas for Summer Self-Care

/in /by

Summer is Upon Us!

Ayurveda or Ayurvedic medicine is the traditional, native approach to physical, mental and emotional health and well-being in India that has been practiced for 5,000 years.  It includes practices such as yoga, meditation, chanting, herbal medicine, and dietary changes.  It is a natural, holistic, preventative approach to illness that is centered around the idea that disease arises from an imbalance or stress in the mind and/or body.  And who doesn’t experience those at least once in a awhile in their lives?

The word “Ayurveda” is derived from Sanskrit and means “science of life.”  It is grounded in the belief that everything is connected and thus, our health relies on maintaining balance and harmony within ourselves and with the world around us.  When we experience some sort of imbalance in our experience of life, Ayurveda guides us to try lifestyle changes and natural remedy options to support that balance and harmony.

Ayurveda also has routine seasonal suggestions for all of us to align with the energy of each season.  Summer is “Pitta” season in the northern hemisphere, where Pitta and its qualities of hot, sharp, dry, and intense, increases in nature and within us.  If we don’t pay attention and these qualities build up within us, we experience an imbalance and create an environment for disease.  So Ayurveda guides us to look at these qualities and use the exact opposite qualities to support balance.

Below are some intention-setting ideas from this traditional practice for you to consider exploring for yourself to balance the natural increase in Pitta and find a healthy seasonal rhythm during the summer months:

  1. What to eat?.   In the summer, our digestive and metabolic fire (or agni) becomes weaker to balance the heat outside.  During these months, the body is not as able to process heavy foods like dairy, red meat or fried foods. Perhaps avoiding these foods (or eating them in moderation) and substituting them with light or cooling foods such as fresh fruits and vegetables, like salad greens, cucumbers, squash, berries and melons.  It’s best to cut down on eating too many sour, salty and spicy foods at this time of year as well, so consider going easy on the vinegar and eating salty crisps and hot curries.
  2. When to eat?.  Your digestive and metabolic fire tends to be greatest in the middle of the day.  Therefore, consider eating your heavier meal at midday and go light for dinner.
  3. What to drink?.  Since your metabolic agni is already low, Ayurveda recommends that iced beverages be avoided as they will reduce your body’s agni even more.  Dehydrating substances such as caffeinated drinks and alcohol will also reduce your already lower agni.  Instead, drinking plenty of water, coconut water and herbal teas is suggested to stay hydrated.  The occasional juice of lemon or lime with a pinch of salt (and a touch of honey or jaggery) is a good recipe to replenish the salts the body loses when sweating.  Consider stocking up on your favorite herbal tea (such as chamomile, peppermint, hibiscus or dandelion) and begin to integrate them into your daily routine now.
  4. What movement to do?.  According to the wisdom of Ayurveda, intense exercise is contraindicated in the summer months, so we are encouraged to slow our flow.  Perhaps try some gentle yoga to luxuriate in the deep openings it creates.  Other options to consider trying might include a Yin or Restorative yoga class, especially to balance a summer routine that might include biking and running.
  5. Need for stillness?.  Excess pitta can contribute to negative psychological feelings which challenge our mental and emotional well-being.  In fact, research has shown that the stress hormone Cortisol spikes as temperatures rise. According to age-old Ayurvedic wisdom, feelings of agitation, irritation, impatience, aggression and anger become more prevalent as the heat increases, so it is important to find spaces to “stay cool” inside as the heat rises around us.  Some options for your consideration include scheduling 10 minutes of meditation before you go about your day and approach your activities and challenges mindfully.  As our exposure to the sun increases in the summer months, another option perhaps to try is balancing that by increasing your exposure to the moon.  Consider spending time outdoors on nights when the moon is full or close to full to simply sit and gaze at the moon.

5 Intention-setting Ideas to Honor Mental Health

/in /by

Mental Health Awareness Month

We have been taught to smile through pain and to simply say “Fine” or “Good” when someone asks us how we are doing.  It has been modeled to us to wear masks and not show anyone what we are truly feeling.  Well, it’s okay to not be okay!  And you are not alone.  According to the National Association of Mental Illness (NAMI), 1 in 5 adults live with mental health challenges and 1 in 6 children and adolescents experience a mental health condition each year.

Below are some intention-setting ideas for cultivating compassion and understanding to support mental health and for reducing stigma when our mental health is challenged:

  1. Share resources.   Only half of the people experiencing mental health challenges receive the support that is needed.  Consider visiting NAMI’s website to become more familiar with their signature programs and share the resources with others.
  2. Social media.  Perhaps participate in NAMI’s social media challenge to share how and why you are taking mental health moments, demonstrating that you are making your own mental health a priority.  NAMI requests that we use the hashtag #TakeAMentalHealthMoment in your posts.
  3. Attend an event.  Consider taking a more ‘active’ step by participating in NAMI’s award-winning NAMIWalks program.  With a goal of Mental Health for All, this is the largest mental health event in the country, taking place in more than 150 locations.
  4. Take the pledge.  Perhaps take the pledge to be stigma free.  Join me by visiting NAMI here to do so!
  5. Watch and learn.  Below are some movies or series to consider watching to learn more and exercise our heart’s compassion muscle:
    • Paper Spiders
    • Many Sides of Jane
    • Touched with Fire
    • Home
    • Please Like Me
    • Silver Linings Playbook
    • That Which I Love Destroys Me

As an intervention, what impact might yoga have in the lives of female survivors of intimate partner violence?

/in /by

I know intimate partner violence (IPV) is not a pleasant or easy topic to think and talk about, yet it is the only way forward. When you think about IPV, I suspect most people first think about physical violence. Yet, did you know that psychological violence is the most common form? IPV, in all of its forms, is a serious public health issue, with an estimated more than 30% of women in the US experiencing it. So, as a yoga teacher, I think it is vital to learn how the practice of yoga might support (or harm) female survivors, as a simple yoga class of 10 might have up to 3 or 4 survivors attending.

It is important to acknowledge that not all yoga styles and/or teachers might be appropriate for such survivors. More and more, in the healing arts, a concept of ‘trauma-informed’ is emerging. However, simply taking one course on trauma-informed medicine does not make a trauma-informed provider. In fact, I have learned of many stories (both as a yoga teacher and a psychotherapist) where a teacher or provider claimed to be trauma-informed and actually activated the survival response in the encounter! Therefore, it is critcal to ensure IPV survivors experience the practice of yoga in a way that ensures physical, emotional, mental and psychological safety.

The consequences of psychological IPV include, but are not limited to, depression/suicidal ideation, anxiety, PTSD, low self-esteem, somatic complaints and substance abuse. So, as a holistic healer, I have come to view these conditions as symptoms of trauma and not diagnoses. As such, I am able to offer a different perspective that validates a person’s lived experience and honor their needs on their healing journey. There is much research on how yoga can reduce particular symptoms of trauma, yet more research is needed to clarify the distinct aspects of the yoga being offered and how, specifically the practice is trauma-informed.

 I was very excited to come across a very recent research study from Exhale to Inhale in NYC that did just that! This study included 526 female survivors and data was collected over 3 years and across 66 domestic violence agencies. It clearly describes what makes the yoga trauma-informed and the target symptoms of stress, somatic complaints and self-efficacy. This study showed that trauma-informed yoga is a capacity-building intervention with female IPV survivors.

To read more, click the link below:

Trauma-informed Yoga in IPV healing

5 Intention-setting Ideas to Celebrate Diversity

/in /by

Celebrate Diversity Month!

Celebrate Diversity Month takes place each April. It was initiated in 2004 to recognize and honor the diversity of the world around us. It is a time to recognize and understand our differences, be it gender, race, ethnicity, faith, sexual orientation and other factors while honoring the common essence of humanity. By appreciating our similarities and differences, the month aims to encourage a deeper understanding of others, regardless of who they are or how they live. It’s also an opportunity to increase diversity in the workplace and various academic fields. Diversity Month pushes us to seek this knowledge so that we can build a tolerant world that welcomes everyone, regardless of who they are or where they come from. — Source: National Today.

Below are some intention-setting ideas for celebrating human diversity:

  1. Movie night.   Consider hosting a cultural movie night with friends and plan to spend some time afterwards discussing the impact it might have had on each of you.  Perhaps consider one of the following documentaries from last year:
    • Four Daughters
    • Beyond Utopia
    • 20 Days in Mariupol
    • Bobi Wine: The People’s President
  2. Cultural art.  Perhaps you explore a cultural art exhibit, either in-person or online, such as the Heritage Museum of Orange County or museums around the world.
  3. Food.  If you are foodie (and who isn’t these days!), consider exploring a local ethnic restaurant or market to sample food from a different culture.
  4. Music.  Music is a cultural universal form of art.  Although highly diverse in the structure and role, music is a common human experience.  Perhaps listen to music from around the world as it can provide an insight into another way of life.
  5. Shop.  Consider shopping with the intention to support a diverse business, especially one that might have been impacted by the pandemic.  Below are some options to explore in Southern California:

5 Intention-setting Ideas to Support Building Trust

/in /by

If you have difficulty trusting others, you are not alone.  And, it might have more to do with a struggle to trust yourself.

Take a moment and think about why you trust someone else.  Did it happen over night?  Did it happen in response to one interaction?  Do you have faith in their abilities?  Do you feel that they care about you?  Do you feel they were being authentic with you?

Trust can be risky!  Trust is required for a healthy relationship and before we can have a healthy relationship with another, we must work on having a healthy relationship with ourselves.  If I were to ask you to remember a time when someone broke your trust, I imagine that most of us can quickly remember a time.  But if I were to ask you to remember a time when you broke your own trust, would it be so easy to recall?

According to an article in the Harvard Business Review, trust has three core drivers:  authenticity, logic and empathy.  Therefore, trusting ourselves requires us to connect to our authentic selves, have compassion for ourselves, and align our choices with what we know to be true for ourselves.  Unfortunately, many of us struggle in this space due to the fear of being judged by others (AKA the need for approval by others) and/or the fear of disappointing others.

If you find yourself caught in this common human struggle, below are some intention-setting ideas for building trust in yourself:

  1. Accept yourself.   It is mission critical to accept all parts of ourselves, fully and unapologetically!  If you find yourself saying to yourself that there is a part, or parts of you that you hate, consider sitting with these parts and having an open dialogue.  Give those parts a voice, without judgment.  Remember, all parts of us come in service.  They adapted and adjusted to keep you safe.  Perhaps try writing down the messages that these parts continue to repeat so they know you have heard them.  Doing so creates space for you to thank them and to consider releasing them from service as they may be ready to retire!
  2. Lean on your values.  Breaking trust with ourselves is tied to our core values.  For example, if one of our core values is honesty and then we lie, we just dishonored ourselves and broke our trust with ourselves.  Therefore, if you find yourself in a dilemma or need to make a difficult choice, consider turning to your top core values and let them guide you.  Making the decision might be difficult in the moment; however, if it aligns with your core values, you will sense that alignment for much longer.  Perhaps display your top core values prominently in your home as a reminder to you as to what is most important, so they are in your awareness in those more challenging moments.
  3. Identify your strengths.  To build trust in yourself, start with what you know to be your strengths.  Consider making a list of your strengths and then build on them by doing more with them.  The key will be to honor the work, by perhaps journaling at the end of each day to recognize how you demonstrated your strengths that day.  For example, if you identified creativity as one of your strengths, write down all of the ways creativity showed up including any out-of-the-box solutions to mundane daily problems.
  4. Keep promises.  This applies to keeping promising to BOTH yourself and to others!  This requires setting strong and clear boundaries, including saying no, so others grow.  If you can’t (or don’t want to) do something, it is better to say no (even if it makes you very uncomfortable to do so) than to say yes and later break your promise.  Consistency in the outcomes (both when saying yes and saying no) is what builds (over time) a trustworthy relationship.
  5. Practice compassion.  As humans, we will make mistakes or take missteps.  However, one bad decision or broken promise does not make you a bad person.  Failures are vital to our growth and to discovering our core values and strengths.  Therefore, befriending our failures, missteps, and mistakes allows us to learn and expand instead of shrink.  Consider exercising your self compassion muscle (AKA the heart) by listening to a meditation and/or writing down what you would say to a dear friend in this space.  Then, the next time you experience a space of constriction, perhaps offering yourself those same kind words!