I describe shame as that toxic, black mold that grows in dark, damp places that can make you sick when you don’t even know it is there. In order to get healthy, first we must become aware of the mold’s existence and then we need to invite air and light into the space, because mold can’t survive in the light. It is the same with shame. Shame on the surface functions as an internal regulator to discourage us from violating moral and social norms. However, when small seeds of shame are planted, especially when we are children, it grows just like toxic mold, creating a very unhealthy internal state of being. From these toxic seeds of shame grow weeds, such as feelings of ‘less than’ and thoughts of ‘not being good enough’. What if there was a simple internal cleaning solution that could eliminate that toxic shame? Well, research on self-compassion is becoming the light that is needed to kill off those weeds at their very roots!
When I was little I had a lot of things happening to me that brought shame, including my parents getting divorced and being poor due to being raised by a single mother. With no money to spare, we found ourselves pulling things out of the Good Will bins, instead of putting things into them, so often our clothes did not fit right (I remember high-water pants before they were a fashion item). In such a vulnerable place, my mom was taken advantage of by men and I witnessed domestic violence. These types of circumstances were out of my control, but that didn’t stop the seeds of mold from taking hold and sprouting nasty weeks. And those weeds, always present, drove my behaviors for many years.
Finally, when my body began to show signs of disease, I realized I needed to change something. With the help of a good therapist, I was able to gain insight into how traumatizing those events were to a child and how the shame guided my behavioral responses, such as trying to be perfect all of the time and taking responsibility for ‘out-of-scope’ tasks and events. Add my people-pleasing part and I had the trifecta for anxiety, exhaustion, depression and many other symptoms of trauma.
When I was able to offer myself the same compassion I would offer others that were experiencing some sort of suffering, I began to feel a sense of relief. My thoughts changed from ‘What is wrong with you’ to ‘What happened to you’. And I was finally able to move into a space of understanding, opening the door to choice when it came to how I wanted to act in this world. Offering myself compassion by shining light on the toxic mold of shame opened the door to true peace of mind. Cultivating compassion has been shown to reduce the negative chemicals (e.g., cortisol, etc.) and increase the positive ones (e.g., oxytocin, etc.) in the brain. And with this data, new models of therapy are emerging within the field of trauma-informed care. One of the most recent and promising ones, Somatic Self-Compassion® training is a trauma-informed self-compassion training that was designed to combine interoception (how we feel on the inside) and sensory modulation (adaptive responses to external changes) in order to teach individuals more effective coping with current and past stress.
One of the most recent feasibility research studies utilizing Somatic Self-Compassion® included shame as a variable to better understand how stress, shame and self-compassion might be related. What this study showed was that combining trauma-informed care with the increased focus on somatic/body intelligence (i.e., interoception and sensory modulation) reduces shame, including body shame and that such training would be a good fit for trauma survivors.
To read the full study, click on the link below:
5 Intention-setting Ideas to Support LGBTQ+ Communities
/0 Comments/in Newsletter /by LindaJune is Pride Month!
This month we all have an opportunity to reflect on and perhaps learn more about the challenges endured by our LGBTQ+ communities and show our support. To kick off this journey, perhaps start by reading the POTUS’ Proclamation on Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender and Queer Pride Month, 2021.
According to the American Psychiatric Association‘s Mental Health Disparities data:
As always, if you try any of these intention-setting ideas for holistic health, I would love to hear about the impact they might have had for you. Please send me an email at linda@sanctuary4compassion.com to share!
Hybrid (On-site/In-person and Online/Virtual) Reiki-infused Sound Healing and Meditation Class!
/0 Comments/in Events /by LindaOn-site/In-person Community Gathering Practice Tips
We understand that, during this transitional time, some of us are more ready than others to slowly re-enter into the experience of small social gatherings. For this reason, we have created a hybrid service model, where a small number of (no more than 4) participants will be able to join us in-person. If you are interested in this option, let us know and we will provide further guidance, including:
Virtual Community Gathering Practice Tips
For those that would prefer to stay in the comfort of home – whether due to physical distance, family participation and/or even the enhanced sense of privacy – we will continue to provide the option to connect with us through Zoom.
Once you let us know that you are interested in attending, we will send you an email that will include details around what is needed from you, including:
To facilitate the benefits of such a virtual community practice at home, below we have provided some helpful hints:
Restorative Yoga Tips and Props
On the day of the class, here are some additional recommendations to create a more sacred space in advance for your practice:
In home prop ideas:
Can practicing self-compassion reduce shame?
/0 Comments/in Talk Therapy /by LindaI describe shame as that toxic, black mold that grows in dark, damp places that can make you sick when you don’t even know it is there. In order to get healthy, first we must become aware of the mold’s existence and then we need to invite air and light into the space, because mold can’t survive in the light. It is the same with shame. Shame on the surface functions as an internal regulator to discourage us from violating moral and social norms. However, when small seeds of shame are planted, especially when we are children, it grows just like toxic mold, creating a very unhealthy internal state of being. From these toxic seeds of shame grow weeds, such as feelings of ‘less than’ and thoughts of ‘not being good enough’. What if there was a simple internal cleaning solution that could eliminate that toxic shame? Well, research on self-compassion is becoming the light that is needed to kill off those weeds at their very roots!
When I was little I had a lot of things happening to me that brought shame, including my parents getting divorced and being poor due to being raised by a single mother. With no money to spare, we found ourselves pulling things out of the Good Will bins, instead of putting things into them, so often our clothes did not fit right (I remember high-water pants before they were a fashion item). In such a vulnerable place, my mom was taken advantage of by men and I witnessed domestic violence. These types of circumstances were out of my control, but that didn’t stop the seeds of mold from taking hold and sprouting nasty weeks. And those weeds, always present, drove my behaviors for many years.
Finally, when my body began to show signs of disease, I realized I needed to change something. With the help of a good therapist, I was able to gain insight into how traumatizing those events were to a child and how the shame guided my behavioral responses, such as trying to be perfect all of the time and taking responsibility for ‘out-of-scope’ tasks and events. Add my people-pleasing part and I had the trifecta for anxiety, exhaustion, depression and many other symptoms of trauma.
When I was able to offer myself the same compassion I would offer others that were experiencing some sort of suffering, I began to feel a sense of relief. My thoughts changed from ‘What is wrong with you’ to ‘What happened to you’. And I was finally able to move into a space of understanding, opening the door to choice when it came to how I wanted to act in this world. Offering myself compassion by shining light on the toxic mold of shame opened the door to true peace of mind. Cultivating compassion has been shown to reduce the negative chemicals (e.g., cortisol, etc.) and increase the positive ones (e.g., oxytocin, etc.) in the brain. And with this data, new models of therapy are emerging within the field of trauma-informed care. One of the most recent and promising ones, Somatic Self-Compassion® training is a trauma-informed self-compassion training that was designed to combine interoception (how we feel on the inside) and sensory modulation (adaptive responses to external changes) in order to teach individuals more effective coping with current and past stress.
One of the most recent feasibility research studies utilizing Somatic Self-Compassion® included shame as a variable to better understand how stress, shame and self-compassion might be related. What this study showed was that combining trauma-informed care with the increased focus on somatic/body intelligence (i.e., interoception and sensory modulation) reduces shame, including body shame and that such training would be a good fit for trauma survivors.
To read the full study, click on the link below:
5 Intention-setting Ideas to Support Your Transition Back Out Into the World
/0 Comments/in Newsletter /by LindaAs Mother Earth is re-emerging from her cold winter slumber, I too am beginning to explore how to reenter the world during this season. I have found this process more challenging this year, due to so many unknowns. Yes, we have learned a lot about Covid-19 over the past year, and yet there is still so much to learn. And, although vaccinations are rolling out, we are learning that a booster shot will be needed before the end of the year and yearly vaccinations might be in our futures, like the annual flu shot. The safety guidelines continue to evolve as do the variants of this virus! So it is no wonder that many of us may be feeling some relief while also continuing to feel confused and anxious.
There is no ‘right’ way to navigate these unchartered waters as the storm is still brewing all around us. Each of us must discern for ourselves and our families what is the best course to take based upon your tolerance for risk. I sometimes think it might be compared with how you use money to build wealth. Some of us with a low tolerance for risk (Me!), consider options such as stuffing our savings under our mattress, putting it into a savings account or perhaps investing it into low-risk bonds through a investment firm. Others with a high tolerance for risk might consider investing in high-return stocks or even trying their luck at the casino! There is certainly no one-size fits all when it comes to mapping out a course forward.
Therefore, below are intention-setting ideas for you to consider as you begin to explore the next part of your journey that might have you venturing out a bit further from your home this season:
As always, if you try any of these intention-setting ideas for holistic health, I would love to hear about the impact they might have had for you. Please send me an email at linda@sanctuary4compassion.com to share!
Virtual Reiki-infused Sound Healing and Meditation Class!
/0 Comments/in Events /by LindaVirtual Community Gathering Practice Tips
We understand that this is not the ideal way to come together to practice and how sometimes just the thought of more technology might bring shivers down our spines. Accepting that it’s OK to feel intimidated is the first step. We are doing our best to make the connection simple and easy. Harnessing the warrior energy within will help you to face any tech fears you might have and join us!
Once you let us know that you are interested in attending, we will send you an email that will include details around what is needed from you, including:
To facilitate the benefits of such a virtual community practice at home, below we have provided some helpful hints:
Restorative Yoga Tips and Props
On the day of the class, here are some additional recommendations to create a more sacred space in advance for your practice:
In home prop ideas:
Can yoga influence the gene expression of your DNA?
/0 Comments/in Yoga /by LindaI believe so as I personally dove into all of the mind-body interventions yoga had to offer to prevent one of the most important risk factors for cardiovascular disease, which is the leading cause of mortality. Both of my parents were diagnosed with hypertension, with my mother getting the diagnosis in her 30s, and both went on to develop cardiovascular disease that is managed by multiple prescription medications. When I turned 40, my physician informed me that I was pre-hypertensive, which sent me on a journey that not only reversed this diagnosis, but changed my life in so many other ways! Different life experiences can influence your genes and cause subconscious behavioral patterns that are passed on over generations, including trauma. And now we might be discovering how yoga and all of its contemplative practices can change and perhaps undo the damage of such life experiences.
There is a newer focus of research that is digging deeper into how the contemplative, mind-body practices of yoga impact our genes, especially in relation to the stress response and inflammation. This body of research is looking at the autonomic nervous system’s response to stressful events, specifically the pro-inflammatory gene expression pattern. The human body’s autonomic nervous system is made up of two main branches, the sympathetic and the parasympathetic. When presented with signals and sensations, the autonomic nervous system responds and takes one of three pathways through these two main branches to keep us safe. The oldest route from an evolutionary development perspective leads to immobilization (think freeze/faint) through the parasympathetic dorsal vagal nerve branch. The next pathway to develop led to the mobilization response (think fight/flight) through the sympathetic nervous system branch. The final one to evolve led to social engagement (think safe and social) through the parasympathetic ventral vagal nerve branch, which is unique to mammals.
When danger is sensed, the human body’s autonomic nervous system travels backwards through the sympathetic nervous system’s fight/flight response and then perhaps, if we feel trapped, to the parasympathetic dorsal vagal nervous system’s freeze/faint response. When the body arrives in the space of immobilization for survival, it can be a long and painful journey back to the space of feeling safe and social. So anything that might make this journey shorter and less painful is welcome! That is where understanding how yoga can support such intentions is vital.
Without going too deep into the science (click on the button below to read more if interested in a deeper dive), when the human body encounters stress and triggers the sympathetic nervous system, it increases production of chemicals that regulate how genes are expressed, activating genes to produce proteins called cytokines that cause inflammation. When these higher levels of cytokines persist over time, the human body is put at a higher risk of a whole range of diseases, including cancer and psychiatric disorders. This newer research is finding that people who practice mind-body interventions such as mindfulness meditations, yoga or Tai Chi, actually reflect the opposite effect, namely a decrease in the production of cytokines, leading to a reversal of the pro-inflammatory gene expression pattern. One of the more recent studies considered one of these mind-body interventions, specifically meditation, an emotional and attentional regulatory activity that supports a state of inner quiet. From this inner quiet grows increased self-awareness which has the power to reduce stress-related symptoms.
To read more about the growing evidence that stress can cause changes in gene expression and how intentionally engaging in mind-body practices can transform the genetic effects of stress, click below:
5 Intention-setting Ideas to Cultivate Compassion
/0 Comments/in Newsletter /by LindaMore and more research is suggesting that compassion is the antidote to what ails us as humans, both individually and on a larger societal level. So, if the answer is simple (yet perhaps not so easy), how might we contribute to the healing of the world that has such a compassion-deficit at this time?
We must first acknowledge that as humans, we experience fear and pain, which open the door to suffering. Whether the fear and pain are experienced physically, mentally, emotionally, socially, and/or spiritually, they cannot be avoided. It is part of the human condition. Suffering, on the other hand, is something that can be avoided. Suffering is a response – or choice – to the fear and pain. The practice of compassion has been shown to trigger the release of oxytocin, often referred to as the happy hormone. Any increase in happiness reduces the experience of suffering.
Next, we must consciously tap into our heart space and exercise our compassion muscles to keep them active and strong. Therefore, below I provide intention-setting ideas to help support the cultivation of compassion in your own life, so that you can spread the happiness around. I hope you will consider trying one!
As always, if you try any of these intention-setting ideas for holistic health, I would love to hear about the impact they might have had for you. Please send me an email at linda@sanctuary4compassion.com to share!
Virtual Reiki-infused Sound Healing and Meditation Class!
/0 Comments/in Events /by LindaVirtual Community Gathering Practice Tips
We understand that this is not the ideal way to come together to practice and how sometimes just the thought of more technology might bring shivers down our spines. Accepting that it’s OK to feel intimidated is the first step. We are doing our best to make the connection simple and easy. Harnessing the warrior energy within will help you to face any tech fears you might have and join us!
Once you let us know that you are interested in attending, we will send you an email that will include details around what is needed from you, including:
To facilitate the benefits of such a virtual community practice at home, below we have provided some helpful hints:
Restorative Yoga Tips and Props
On the day of the class, here are some additional recommendations to create a more sacred space in advance for your practice:
In home prop ideas:
When emotional dysregulation has us in its grip, might direct neurofeedback help?
/0 Comments/in Neurofeedback /by LindaWhen we are born, the parts of our brain that are driving the car are the ones responsible for our emotions. The prominent logical part of our brain – the prefrontal cortex – doesn’t start to grow until between the ages of 1 and 2 years of age, with the most important years in a child’s development extending to the age of 3. During these first 3 years of life, it is critical that a child receives warmth, love and responsive care. Otherwise, the child is at greater risk of experiencing an interpersonal traumatic attachment injury, which impacts the brain’s development, leading to growing fears of abandonment/rejection and emotional dysregulation. Basically, the emotional brain highjacks the logical brain and remains in the driver’s seat, possibly for life!
If a child does not experience the warmth and care they need from a primary care giver, dysfunctional symptoms begin to emerge as a result of such a traumatic attachment injury. These symptoms will lead to a diagnosis of Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) in childhood, if the child is fortunate enough to have someone in their lives to intervene and secure the support that is needed. If not, the child will adapt in ways to maintain safety, yet will not outgrow the symptoms. As an adult, the symptoms now get a different diagnosis – and are labeled as a personality disorder.
One of those labeled personality disorders is borderline personality disorder (BPD). This diagnosis is characterized by emotional dysregulation and poor executive function, which includes adaptable thinking, self-monitoring, and self-control. Serious symptoms include impulsive, self-destructive behaviors, including self-injury and suicide attempts. People suffering the symptoms of BPD find it difficult to establish and maintain stable, trusting relationships because of the fear of abandonment from significant others. Therefore, it can be difficult to heal through traditional psychotherapy alone, since the therapeutic relationship is one that is based on trust.
This dilemma then begs the question of whether direct neurofeedback might support people who are have been diagnosed with BPD, perhaps facilitating their healing journey. Well, recent research took a look at if, and how, such an intervention might be helpful. What this research showed was that increasing the activity of the dorsolateral prefrontal cortex through repeated stimulation via direct neurofeedback significantly improved major executive functioning and cognitive control over negative emotions, bringing hope to many!
To read more, click on the link below:
5 Intention-setting Ideas to Build Courage This Spring
/0 Comments/in Newsletter /by LindaThe fear that this pandemic has created is palpable. It is impacting all of us in some way. It is tapping into our primal sense of survival and bringing up stuff we thought was resolved long ago, but was perhaps simply hidden from view. Well as the days begin to grow longer, the light and warmth of the spring invite us to move through the darkness, face our fears and step into the light.
But how do we gather the courage to do so?
Below I provide intention-setting ideas on how to exercise our courage muscle (think your heart) in a healthy way to reduce the control fear has on your life, inviting in more confidence, joy and peace. I hope you will consider trying one!
As always, if you try any of these intention-setting ideas for holistic health, I would love to hear about the impact they might have had for you. Please send me an email at linda@sanctuary4compassion.com to share!