Growing up in chaos challenges our equilibrium to seek control, wherever and whenever we can find it. This is a recipe for our perfectionist part to step forward and take control, driving us mercilessly to do more and better, striving for an ideal that does not exist. Ultimately, this is a recipe for failure, disappointment, anxiety, depression or worse. It wasn’t until I learned that as a spiritual being having a human experience that I am limited and flawed that acceptance began to flow in. This realization did not mean that I stopped striving to grow, do better and be a less judgmental human. It did mean that I had to reign in my perfectionist part and redefine my goals and ideals.
When acceptance began to flow for my limitations and mistakes, along with it came relief. I could stop setting myself up for failure and begin to release my grip on unrealistic expectations, not only for myself but of others. It opened the door to see and accept the limitations of others as a natural and universal aspect of being human. It also loosened the grip of the need to control, which calmed my overly developed responsible part, creating space for the capacity to simply be.
Part of my journey towards acceptance included work through psychotherapy that encouraged me to confront the chaos of my childhood and the traumatizing effects it had on all parts of me. I learned that perfectionism is a self-destructive and addictive belief system that fuels a primary thought that if I look perfect, and do everything perfectly, I can avoid or minimize the painful feelings of shame, judgment, and blame. Shame is the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging. Shame says ‘I am bad’ versus the feeling of guilt, which says ‘I did something bad’.
Having a compassionate witness, my psychotherapist, guide me along the sometimes slow and painful path back to wholeness, was mission critical for my healing. I came to learn that as children living through adverse experiences we adapt by turning against ourselves, which distorts our sense of self. We develop self-hatred as an adaptive response to protect our parents, which plants the seed that will grow the perfectionist part and set us on the path to work to improve our ‘bad’ self.
As I write this, my intention is not to blame, pass judgment on or shame parents. I am in a space of understanding and acceptance that humans do the best they can with what they know in the moment. However, the child goes through an unconscious development process that suggests: which is safer, for the child to believe that their parents are bad and they don’t love you or that they are incompetent and the world is not safe OR for the child to believe that there is something wrong with them, that they are not good enough or have something to be ashamed of? When we can understand that the fear of the loss of the attachment to our parents creates unendurable pain, then we can understand it is safer to turn on ourselves, because it leaves room for hope. Hope that if we work hard enough, we can change that bad part of ourselves and become lovable. This process creates the belief that if I can be good enough, I’ll be loved and belong.
What current research is offering is an approach to undoing the damage of this natural adaptive developmental process that is effective and embraced by people who suffer from shame. It is compassion-focused therapy. What is being demonstrated is that compassion is an essential capacity for growth, both inside and out. It is why I integrate a self-compassion assessment and meditation into my healing offering through talk therapy and offer a recording (here) for download for ongoing support. Having and truly offering compassion in therapy honors the experience of universal human suffering and now research is creating the evidence needed for compassion focused therapy to be embraced by the psychotherapy community.
To read more about where the research on compassion focused therapy currently stands, click the button below:
Virtual Reiki-infused Sound Healing and Meditation Class!
/in Events/by LindaVirtual Community Gathering Practice Tips
We understand that this is not the ideal way to come together to practice and how sometimes just the thought of more technology might bring shivers down our spines. Accepting that it’s OK to feel intimidated is the first step. We are doing our best to make the connection simple and easy. Harnessing the warrior energy within will help you to face any tech fears you might have and join us!
Once you let us know that you are interested in attending, we will send you an email that will include details around what is needed from you, including:
To facilitate the benefits of such a virtual community practice at home, below we have provided some helpful hints:
Restorative Yoga Tips and Props
On the day of the class, here are some additional recommendations to create a more sacred space in advance for your practice:
In home prop ideas:
Can yoga change your brain?
/in Yoga/by LindaWhat if we could see inside of our brains when we are practicing our deep breathing, sun salutations, and savasana? Would you want to see/know what parts of your brain are being turned on and off or growing and shrinking? Well, this might not quite be reality yet, however, with neuroimaging technology what it is today, it is pretty close! When I started my yoga practice almost 20 years ago, I didn’t know what the practice did to my brain if anything, I just felt relief each time I left class. Now, all these years later, it excites me to know that it supported my brain’s own natural ability to heal.
Before discovering yoga, I was a workaholic that was in a constant state of flight or fight with the world around me. I figured I had inherited my mother’s anxiety and there was nothing I could really do about it. Boy was I wrong! My first yoga class spoke to me in a way that I had never experienced before, calling me back to the mat that first year 5 to 6 times a week. I thought it had become my new addiction, yet it changed me so profoundly that I was finally able to find the long sought after balance I craved in my life.
I believed yoga was a huge contributor to my healing journey, although at the time I might not have fully understood how it worked. Today, with the integration of neuroimaging and neurophysiological techniques into the study of yoga, research has begun to reveal consistent structural and functional changes in the brain. With the benefit of magnetic resonance imaging (MRI), positron emission tomography (PET) and/or single-photon emission computed tomography (SPECT) scanning, the benefits of yoga are lighting up our brains!
Although the various research studies have looked at different aspects of yoga, such as movement versus meditation as well as styles of yoga, these studies reflect relatively consistent cerebral structural and functional changes. What this tells me is that you can’t do it wrong! It doesn’t matter if you practice Iyengar, Yin, Hatha and/or Kundalini yoga, it will help your brain. It doesn’t matter if you practice movement, breathing techniques, meditation or chant, it will help your brain. And with all of the different approaches, including Kids and Chair yoga, yoga is available to help our brains throughout the entire life cycle.
Fast forward with the increasing popularity of yoga worldwide, research is still scarce in yogis yet it is expanding with the assistance of neuroimaging. And this research is showing that yoga effects the brain both structurally and functionally, specifically in areas involving interoception, posture, motivation, and higher executive functions. Moving forward, more research is needed to reflect the changes in the brain through neuroimaging when the brain is suffering from the effects of anxiety, depression, PTSD and other stress-induced mental health challenges. I would have loved to see what my brain looked like before discovering yoga and after integrating my practice into my everyday life. I think the results would have been very validating!
5 Intention-setting Ideas to Improve the Health of Mother Earth
/in Newsletter/by LindaAs I finished working on my vision board for the first half of 2021 under the ‘Star of Bethlehem’ on December 21st, a clear intention emerged: a renewed focus my desire to support the health of Mother Earth, through whatever efforts are available to me. One of the things the pandemic has brought into our awareness more profoundly is that nature is a key element in maintaining our mental and physical health. And we all are stewards of our precious resources.
2020 was also the 50th anniversary of Earth Day and the ‘Do Just 1 Thing’ campaign was launched, to help individuals to not feel so overwhelmed with the existential threat of global climate change. If each of us simply embrace just one small thing, together we will have a huge impact on protecting the habitats of wildlife, cleaning up polluted air, water and land, and conserving out natural resources.
So, below I have listed some intentions, some simple and some offering a stretch. What one thing might light the fire of your ecological passion? I hope you will consider trying one!
As always, if you try any of these intention-setting ideas for holistic health, I would love to hear about the impact they might have had for you. Please send me an email at linda@sanctuary4compassion.com to share!
Virtual Reiki-infused Sound Healing and Meditation Class!
/in Events/by LindaThis online group gathering will be conducted using Zoom’s video conferencing, which provides an option to turn off the your audio/video at any time, supporting privacy and facilitating a reduction in distractions. For first-time attendees, signed release of liability/waiver forms will be needed. Once these forms have been received, along with payment via PayPal, an email will be sent to you with the link and meeting ID to join the class. We look forward to being of service to you!
Virtual Community Gathering Practice Tips
We understand that this is not the ideal way to come together to practice and how sometimes just the thought of more technology might bring shivers down our spines. Accepting that it’s OK to feel intimidated is the first step. We are doing our best to make the connection simple and easy. Harnessing the warrior energy within will help you to face any tech fears you might have and join us!
Once you let us know that you are interested in attending, we will send you an email that will include details around what is needed from you, including:
To facilitate the benefits of such a virtual community practice at home, below we have provided some helpful hints:
Restorative Yoga Tips and Props
On the day of the class, here are some additional recommendations to create a more sacred space in advance for your practice:
In home prop ideas:
Is direct neurofeedback a viable non-drug treatment option for ADHD?
/in Neurofeedback/by LindaAs the most common neurodevelopmental disorder, Attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder impacts an estimated 11% of children in school, with symptoms of inattention, hyperactivity, impulsivity and various cognitive dysfunctions often persisting into adolescence and adulthood. And thanks to modern neuroimaging technology, relatively distinct brain regions within the prefrontal cortex have been identified as having altered activity, accounting for the symptoms of ADHD. These disturbances in the networks of the brain have begun to come under further study when considering therapeutic interventions. Transcranial direct current stimulation (tDCS), aka direct neurofeedback, has shown promising effectiveness in both neuropsychological and neurodevelopmental disorders, especially ADHD.
Symptoms of inattention or being easily distracted is very common, as it is the mind’s natural tendency or default mode. It is actually wired for continuous distraction and a culture that values multi-tasking reinforces this wiring. Mindfulness, or the practice of narrowing our focus to a single-task or giving our undivided attention to the task at hand, is one way to train the mind to ‘pay attention’. However, this is sometimes easier said than actually done.
Now add trauma to this default mode of distraction. When the mind is overwhelmed by strong, and often uncomfortable emotions, the use of the natural, default distraction wiring of our brains can actually be of benefit as it provides relief from those emotions, albeit temporary, brief and fleeting. In fact, using conscious distraction techniques can actually keep us be safe from harm in the moment by moving us away from more unhealthy reactions to such powerful emotions, such as self-harming thoughts and behaviors including substance use.
The go-to approach to ADHD has been medication and behavioral modification therapy, yet the lack of long-term effects for both has been disappointing to those who suffer from the symptoms of this neurodevelopmental disorder. Such lack of long-term effects has generated renewed interest in neurofeedback in recent years as a promising method for improving neuropsychological and cognitive deficits in ADHD. Although more research may be required to determine the length of initial treatment along with the need for ongoing intermittent treatment to assess how long the benefits last, this non-invasive brain wave modulation intervention may just be a better approach while eliminating any medication side-effects!
If you would like to read more about the current state of the research on using direct neurofeedback for ADHD, click the link below:
5 Intention-setting Ideas to Support Counting Your Blessings
/in Newsletter/by LindaThis pandemic has no doubt brought change into our lives. Now the challenge is to see how those changes brought beauty as well.
With all of the loss that we have experienced since March, it can be difficult to see the silver linings in the clouds of grief. It is in times of loss that I remind myself there must be destruction before conscious construction. Equinimity can only be achieved when we hold both in our awareness and honor both sides of every coin.
As we enter the month of December, we have entered into the final eclipse season of the year. In addition to the eclipses, December also brings a rare and special planetary alignment on the 21st that suggests the dawning of the Age of Aquarius, referred to as the Great Conjunction, where Saturn and Jupiter meet at the same degree of the zodiac. This event is going to kickstart a new era for us human beings, supporting our global intention for equinimity. (To read more about the Great Conjunction, click here!)
So, below I offer 5 intention-setting tools to support drawing your awareness to the other side of the coin, where there is light in the darkness, wherein there lies beauty. I hope you will consider trying one!
As always, if you try any of these intention-setting ideas for holistic health, I would love to hear about the impact they might have had for you. Please send me an email at linda@sanctuary4compassion.com to share!
Is expanding our capacity for compassion – for self and other – the key ingredient in healing through psychotherapy?
/in Talk Therapy/by LindaGrowing up in chaos challenges our equilibrium to seek control, wherever and whenever we can find it. This is a recipe for our perfectionist part to step forward and take control, driving us mercilessly to do more and better, striving for an ideal that does not exist. Ultimately, this is a recipe for failure, disappointment, anxiety, depression or worse. It wasn’t until I learned that as a spiritual being having a human experience that I am limited and flawed that acceptance began to flow in. This realization did not mean that I stopped striving to grow, do better and be a less judgmental human. It did mean that I had to reign in my perfectionist part and redefine my goals and ideals.
When acceptance began to flow for my limitations and mistakes, along with it came relief. I could stop setting myself up for failure and begin to release my grip on unrealistic expectations, not only for myself but of others. It opened the door to see and accept the limitations of others as a natural and universal aspect of being human. It also loosened the grip of the need to control, which calmed my overly developed responsible part, creating space for the capacity to simply be.
Part of my journey towards acceptance included work through psychotherapy that encouraged me to confront the chaos of my childhood and the traumatizing effects it had on all parts of me. I learned that perfectionism is a self-destructive and addictive belief system that fuels a primary thought that if I look perfect, and do everything perfectly, I can avoid or minimize the painful feelings of shame, judgment, and blame. Shame is the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging. Shame says ‘I am bad’ versus the feeling of guilt, which says ‘I did something bad’.
Having a compassionate witness, my psychotherapist, guide me along the sometimes slow and painful path back to wholeness, was mission critical for my healing. I came to learn that as children living through adverse experiences we adapt by turning against ourselves, which distorts our sense of self. We develop self-hatred as an adaptive response to protect our parents, which plants the seed that will grow the perfectionist part and set us on the path to work to improve our ‘bad’ self.
As I write this, my intention is not to blame, pass judgment on or shame parents. I am in a space of understanding and acceptance that humans do the best they can with what they know in the moment. However, the child goes through an unconscious development process that suggests: which is safer, for the child to believe that their parents are bad and they don’t love you or that they are incompetent and the world is not safe OR for the child to believe that there is something wrong with them, that they are not good enough or have something to be ashamed of? When we can understand that the fear of the loss of the attachment to our parents creates unendurable pain, then we can understand it is safer to turn on ourselves, because it leaves room for hope. Hope that if we work hard enough, we can change that bad part of ourselves and become lovable. This process creates the belief that if I can be good enough, I’ll be loved and belong.
What current research is offering is an approach to undoing the damage of this natural adaptive developmental process that is effective and embraced by people who suffer from shame. It is compassion-focused therapy. What is being demonstrated is that compassion is an essential capacity for growth, both inside and out. It is why I integrate a self-compassion assessment and meditation into my healing offering through talk therapy and offer a recording (here) for download for ongoing support. Having and truly offering compassion in therapy honors the experience of universal human suffering and now research is creating the evidence needed for compassion focused therapy to be embraced by the psychotherapy community.
To read more about where the research on compassion focused therapy currently stands, click the button below:
Virtual Reiki-infused sound healing and meditation class!
/in Events/by LindaThis online group gathering will be conducted using Zoom’s video conferencing, which provides an option to turn off the your audio/video at any time, supporting privacy and facilitating a reduction in distractions. For first-time attendees, signed release of liability/waiver forms will be needed. Once these forms have been received, along with payment via PayPal, an email will be sent to you with the link and meeting ID to join the class. We look forward to being of service to you!
Virtual Community Gathering Practice Tips
We understand that this is not the ideal way to come together to practice and how sometimes just the thought of more technology might bring shivers down our spines. Accepting that it’s OK to feel intimidated is the first step. We are doing our best to make the connection simple and easy. Harnessing the warrior energy within will help you to face any tech fears you might have and join us!
Once you let us know that you are interested in attending, we will send you an email that will include details around what is needed from you, including:
To facilitate the benefits of such a virtual community practice at home, below we have provided some helpful hints:
Restorative Yoga Tips and Props
On the day of the class, here are some additional recommendations to create a more sacred space in advance for your practice:
In home prop ideas:
5 Intention-setting Ideas to Make a Difference
/in Newsletter/by LindaSometimes things can feel so overwhelming and we think what can one person do when the problems of the world seem so insurmountable? It is in moments like these that it’s important to remember the social changes that grew from grassroots movements and shaped history. When we take time to reflect on those social movements, we can tap into the energy to be inspired and motivated to keep doing what we can, whenever we can, and where we can. It does make a difference!
We don’t need a lot of money to make a difference. We don’t need to make grand gestures to make a difference. We don’t need to be in positions of power to make a difference. All we need is the intention, focus and courage to take some small steps.
Below are intention-setting ideas for making a difference. I hope you will consider trying one!
As always, if you try any of these intention-setting ideas for holistic health, I would love to hear about the impact they might have had for you. Please send me an email at linda@sanctuary4compassion.com to share!
Virtual Reiki-infused sound healing and meditation class!
/in Events/by LindaThis online group gathering will be conducted using Zoom’s video conferencing, which provides an option to turn off the your audio/video at any time, supporting privacy and facilitating a reduction in distractions. For first-time attendees, signed release of liability/waiver forms will be needed. Once these forms have been received, along with payment via PayPal, an email will be sent to you with the link and meeting ID to join the class. We look forward to being of service to you!
Virtual Community Gathering Practice Tips
We understand that this is not the ideal way to come together to practice and how sometimes just the thought of more technology might bring shivers down our spines. Accepting that it’s OK to feel intimidated is the first step. We are doing our best to make the connection simple and easy. Harnessing the warrior energy within will help you to face any tech fears you might have and join us!
Once you let us know that you are interested in attending, we will send you an email that will include details around what is needed from you, including:
To facilitate the benefits of such a virtual community practice at home, below we have provided some helpful hints:
Restorative Yoga Tips and Props
On the day of the class, here are some additional recommendations to create a more sacred space in advance for your practice:
In home prop ideas: