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5 Intention-setting Ideas to Fulfill the Universal Basic Human Need for Play

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In my experience, part of why adolescents struggle with the transition to adulthood is tied to the balance between work and play.  The cultural pressures to academically succeed to ensure future financial independence and stability doesn’t create a whole lot of space for play.  In addition, they watch their parents struggling to make time for self-care and play.  The future that they see doesn’t look too appealing and certainly not fun.  So, it’s no wonder that they might resist leaving their childhood behind.

Therefore, I think it is important for all of us to embrace that play is a universal human basic need, regardless of your biological age.  It is mission critical to create time and space for play as the balance it brings invites joy and peace into not only our lives, but the lives of those around us.

Therefore, below are some ideas for inviting more play into your life:

  1. Observe.   Children and animals innately know how to play.  So, consider taking some time to simply watch and learn.  You might notice their natural curiosity and/or how present they are in the moment.  You might also notice that children haven’t learned how to worry about what others think of them yet, so they might act silly.  So observing can help us to reconnect to that part of us that didn’t care what others thought of them and were so focused and curious that they allowed themselves to simply be silly!
  2. Play Journal.  When you notice yourself smiling and/or laughing, perhaps consider opening your journal and starting a “Play” section by writing it down.  Keep adding ideas as you observe others at play, especially any activities that remind you of when you played as a child that brought you joy.  Maybe it was dancing, playing cards or board games, and/or coloring or painting.
  3. Move.  The human body was designed to move.  Like the Tin Man in the Wizard of Oz, we will rust and stiffen if we don’t move.  Therefore, consider going outside to simply move.  It might be to take a walk or a run in the neighborhood, a hike on a nearby trail, a stroll at the beach or through a botanical garden, or it could be to participate in an ecstatic dance class.  Perhaps afterward, reflect on how moving your body shifted something in your mind and heart!
  4. Join In.  If you might be up for trying something new to feed our natural need for novelty, consider joining a local group.  Not sure where to start, try MeetUp for ideas.  Some options include rock climbing, museum visits, escape rooms, croquet, singing, knitting, meditation, quilting, yoga and so much more!
  5. Game Night. If you are more inclined to stay closer to home, consider organizing a neighborhood game night.  Perhaps bring up the idea of making game night a monthly activity, where each person gets to pick the game of their choice, so everyone has the opportunity to try something new.

5 Intention-setting Ideas to Support Our Basic Human Need for Connection

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“We are like islands in the sea, separate on the surface but connected in the deep.” ― William James

There is more and more research today supporting what I think most of us already knew – whether consciously or subconsciously – that humans are wired for connection. What I have witnessed and experienced is when we find ourselves in healthy, reciprocal relationships, we grow and when we experience disconnection from our tribe, we wilt.

And yet our social culture tells us that we should value independence, not need anyone or fear being labeled ‘co-dependent’, and that we should be able to solve our problems on our own and, if we can’t, there is something wrong with us.

Well, with the research behind me, I’m here to challenge that culture that values independence more than interdependence, because as humans we are designed to be connected with others in relationships!

I understand it can be a bit scary to admit to our need for connection, so below are 5 intention-setting ideas to consider trying to support your well-being through expanding and deepening your connection with others:

  1. Volunteer.  In the language of yoga, “seva” is the Sanskrit term meaning “selfless service” and engaging in seva is believed to assist in someone’s spiritual growth while also improving the community.  Although this implies releasing any expectations of receiving anything personally in return for our efforts, my experience and research suggests that the reward is a felt experience, one of working with others that care about the same things you do . . . in other words, vibing with your tribe.
  2. Join a group.  With the advent of social media, it is not hard to find a group that has the same interests as you do.  Whether you enjoy indoor or outdoor activities, Meetup has a group for everyone and if you don’t find a group that is exactly what you are looking for, you can create your own and invite your tribe to join.  Whether you are looking for someone to hike, read, meditate, or socialize your dog with, there are others looking for the same thing.
  3. Share your care.  Have you noticed how good it feels to help someone else out that might be struggling with something, whether it is a stranger that needs a little help with opening a door or a friend that might be sick? Research is discovering that empathy is part of the hard-wiring connection between humans.  So when we see someone suffering, our empathy kicks in and encourages us to express compassion to others, because it makes us feel good to help relieve the suffering of others.
  4. Ask for help.  I know this one can be tricky, but think about it for a moment.  If you feel good when you help others, then why would you not want to create an opportunity for someone else to feel good, by helping you?  I always say “Any job is easy, if you have the right tools”, so, in this case, the “right tools” might just be the members of your tribe.
  5. Commit time.  Our social culture expects that we “do more with less”, leaving us chronically multi-tasking and wishing for more than 24 hours in a day.  With so many demands on our time, we can inadvertently find ourselves spending more and more time alone, even if we tell ourselves that it is because we just need to sleep.  What the research is leading us to understand, though, is that spending time with people who make us feel supported, valued, and accepted may contribute more to our overall health than other typical suggestions such as exercise and not smoking.  So, we need to make our connections a priority on our ‘to do’ list, knowing that by doing so we are contributing not only to our own well-being, but to the well-being of our tribe!