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5 Intention-setting Ideas For Remembering You Are Good Enough

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Most of us experience self-doubt at times, which is normal especially when we are trying something new.  However, if self-doubt feels all consuming, it will hold us back from experiencing life fully.  When we become aware that self-doubt is starting to stifle our passion for life, we may need more tools to overcome it.

Self-doubt can grow from different life experiences, such as past negative experiences or from adverse childhood experiences that challenged our innate self-worth.  If we grew up in a critical environment that informed us no matter what we do it will never be good enough, we will more likely experience self-doubt.  And a culture that has a laser focus on achievement, that implies conditional love, can actually do more harm than the intention to motivate us, setting us up for failure and the development of that nasty core negative belief that we will never be enough.

Therefore, to challenge that sense of self-doubt within, below are some ideas to try for remembering you are innately good enough, with unique individual inherent gifts to bring to the world:

  1. Strengths.   Consider sitting down to write out a list of your strengths.  Consider what you are good at.  If you need help to get started, ask several people you are close to for their perspective.  Keep in mind too those things you enjoy, even if you wouldn’t considering yourself “a pro” or “perfect” at it.  Once you create the list, keep it out and available to review, because you will most likely continue to identify other strengths that need to be added!
  2. Values.  Identifying our core values might be a little trickier.  Consider trying out one of the lists online, like Brené Brown’s list or Marshall Rosenberg’s needs list.  When you are able to connect with what you value most, the fear of criticism from others is challenged.  When you start to let those same core values guide you in your life decisions, the criticism of others doesn’t sting as deeply and, when you make mistakes, there is more room for self compassion.  Again, perhaps keeping a list of your core values out where you can see them on a daily basis and consider revisiting them to refine the list as those values become clearer to you.
  3. Talk to Yourself.   When that inner critic rears its ugly head and tries to tell you that you are not good enough, talk to yourself as though you were talking to a young child.  What would you say to them?  Consider reminding them (yourself) of their (your) strengths and core values.  Might you also tell them (you) that it is okay to fail, because that is where life lessons come alive?  Try giving yourself the same support and encouragement you would give someone you care about when they are experiencing self-doubt.
  4. Comparisons.  Everyone has different strengths, distinct definitions of success, and divergent journeys.  We also all have different quirks and imperfections as we are all human beings.  Therefore, when we compare ourselves to others, we are comparing apples to oranges, which creates fertile soil for that negative belief that we are not good enough to grow.  Now, comparing things in and of itself is natural and normal.  It is how we decide if we prefer apples over oranges.  So, to feed the human inclination to compare ourselves, perhaps consider comparing yourself to yourself.  Reflect on where you were a month ago, 6 months ago, a year ago or 10 years ago.  What challenges did you lean into, what did you learn, and how have you grown?  Did you discover new strengths and values?
  5. Be Grateful.  Consider expressing gratitude for yourself each day that you get up and show up.  Perhaps showing up for you means participating in an act of self care or using one of your strengths to support yourself.  Perhaps it includes aligning your actions with your values, not someone else’s.  See if you might be able to simply be grateful for existing, honoring your innate value as a human being.  Remember we are imperfect human beings not perfect human doings!

5 Intention-setting Ideas for Sweeping Away What No Longer Serves

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What are you planting in the soil of your mind this spring?  Is the garden of your mind full of weeds?

Taking time to clean our homes after a long winter’s nap is an annual tradition that crosses many cultures, including Persian, Jewish, Japanese and Judeo-Christian among others.  This tradition of renewal has roots in neurochemistry as well as spirituality.  Our homes, though, may not be the only spaces that could use a good cleaning.

Our minds are very cluttered too, especially as we try to navigate a multi-tasking addicted world.  Our brains are not wired to do two things at once and, when we try, it simply means we are not giving our best to the tasks at hand.  Over time, multi-tasking sets us up for inevitable failure, which can over time pollute the soil of our minds.

Therefore, this spring, I would like to support your efforts to weed the garden of your mind.  Below are some ideas for reducing the toxins in the soil and creating space for your authentic self to bloom:

  1. Volunteer.  Volunteering for a cause you feel connected to can bring you a different perspective, supporting the both/and way of thinking.  We live in a dualistic either/or mental world that drives us to compare, compete, and separate, supporting disconnection and distress.  Ancient traditions guide us to see the world in a different, non-dualistic way that supports connection and inner peace.  Holding two seemingly different perspectives in the mind at the same time can act as great fertilizer for creating space for mental growth.  Volunteering can provide you with an opportunity to practice this non-dual thinking.  Consider volunteering and when you find yourself viewing aspects of the experience as contrary or conflictual, pose the question “Might both perspectives be true at the same time?”  If you can hold both in your mind at the same time, it expands the mind’s ability to declutter itself of constricting beliefs (aka weeds) and plant seeds of curiosity, acceptance and connection.
  2. Identify triggers.  When we experience uncomfortable sensations in the body and powerful emotions come up, it’s a sign that our natural adaptive fear response has been triggered for human survival.  It is mission critical to honor our survival responses to fear (i.e., freeze, fight, flight, faint/flop, fawn/friend) because they are immediate, automatic, and instinctual responses to potential life threatening experiences.  Accepting and understanding them as such goes a long way to releasing the sense of power they have over you.  Consider beginning the process by simply identifying your triggers.  When you notice that you have been triggered (and it won’t be in that immediate moment, give yourself some time to reflect after the body and mind reconnect), write down what was going on right before the body sensed the threat.  Then see if you might be able to identify how the body responded to the threat in that moment – did it freeze, did it run away and hide, or did your people pleasing part step forward?  No response is bad, remember it is automatic and adaptive to survival.  And your body might respond to different threats in different ways.  Can you also hear the voices in your head that say things to you like “You’ll never be good enough.” and/or “You’re not worthy of love.”?  If so, write those negative beliefs down, and congratulate yourself as you have just been able to identify the weeds that are strangling your garden from growth!  The more you are able to identify your triggers and the weeds that have grown in the toxic soil of fear, the less likely those parts of you will get behind the wheel of your car to drive your life.
  3. Set Boundaries. The inability to say no to others is a weed that grew from the fear response of fawn/friend and often is the mask of our people pleasing part.  Our people pleasing part comes from a place of wanting to be accepted by others to create a feeling of belonging.  Belonging is a normal human desire and protects us from outside threats.  Yet, the fear of not belonging drives our authentic self underground into that toxic soil of our minds.  Consider practicing saying no to others to say yes to yourself, starting small.  It will be important to recognize that the fear of disappointing the other person will be present, so I offer the mantra of “Say no, so others grow.” to support your efforts.  Remind yourself that the fear of disappointing will pass, creating space for both you and others to grow.  Then, after saying no, watch what unfolds afterwards.  Write about the space you created, noting how both you and the other person grew!
  4. Practice Gratitude.  The human brain develops in a way that starts with the survival responses first and then finishes with the growth of our ability to rationalize our experience.  So both the emotional and logical parts of our brain are intelligent!  Yet, the survival parts of the brain are the most powerful, as they are designed for the survival of the human race.  Therefore, we need to actively invite the engagement of the logical mind that is able to identify the positive aspects of awareness and understanding to balance the emotional fearful negative bias of the brain.  Consider practicing gratitude as a way to support that balance.  Research suggests that the human mind finds balance between 5 positive thoughts and 1 negative thought.  Perhaps start and end your day with identifying 5 things you are grateful for.  If you would like to really challenge the mind, take what you might have experienced as triggering that day and see if you can find something to be grateful for about that trigger!
  5. Explore Self Compassion.  As we are perhaps practicing the above intentions, remember we are turning over the toxic soil and weeding the garden of our minds.  In as much, we are working towards acceptance of all parts of ourself and how they served us.  Reminding ourselves during the journey that all of our sensations and emotions are normal, natural adaptive responses to the world in which we grew.  With that awareness and understanding, we are fertilizing the soil with empathy for our struggles that we have survived.  What we come to accept about ourselves is that we are both limited and limitless, flawed and flawless, skilled and unskilled beings.  As we begin to experience this acceptance of all parts of ourselves, we invite the flowers of self compassion to grow.  Offering ourselves the same compassion and loving kindness as we might offer others, supports our resiliency and connection, both with others and ourselves!

5 Intention-setting Ideas to Make Space

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This is the time of year that most people begin to formulate their New Year resolutions.  However, before we can add something to our lives, it is a good idea to get rid of something that no longer serves us to create space, and I’m not necessarily suggesting tangible, physical items, although the idea also applies to such an effort.

What I am suggesting during this last month of 2022 is to consider what might you release that drains your energy, so that you might invite in something that stokes your fire and energizes you to get up every morning.  Like the trees that shed their leaves in the winter to create space for the new life that will come in the spring, we too might need to shed something old to make room for the new.

Below are some intention-setting ideas to support you in creating some mental or emotional space in your mind-body, fertilizing the soil of creation for the new year.  It is my hope you will consider exploring one or more ideas and watch what blossoms in your garden!

  1. Take Stock.  Consider identifying and then writing about the biggest lesson you learned this year and what it has taught you.  Explore how the learnings have perhaps changed your way of being or your world view.  Have these learnings brought you more inner peace or anxiety?  If the lesson brought you anxiety, ask yourself why that might be and then identify how anxiety serves you.  Does it protect you from something?  Our emotions serve to inform us, if we simply give them time and space to express themselves.  Befriend your powerful emotions and then let them guide you when making decisions in the new year.  Once we befriend them, allow their expression and understand how they serve us, our emotions become tools in our tool kit for staying true to our authentic self, freeing up space for us to take up more space in the world!
  2. Gratitude. Perhaps writing down what and who you are grateful for in your life, and don’t forget to include yourself on this list!  Can you identify 3 aspects of yourself that you are grateful for and why?  Let the gratitude you feel be another guide when considering options in the new year.
  3. Support.  Although independence is an idealized ideal in our culture, most, if not all, of us accomplish life with the support of others.  Think about the people that you might have turned to for support this past year.  Who might have brought comfort, acceptance, and warmth to your heart?  Let their support remind you that you are not alone in this world, that humans are interdependent beings, and it is okay to not be okay and ask for help.  Let this sense of interconnectedness be one of your guides as you move into the new year as we collectively release the false belief that we must pull ourselves up from our own bootstraps when we are down.
  4. Giving.  Most of us are taught to give to others, whether it is our time, compassion, or care, which can make us feel good or resentful when all we do is give to others.  We are not taught to give to ourselves and instead are told we are being selfish if we ask for what it is we need or want.  Consider journaling about what you were taught about taking care of yourself, perhaps by the role models in your lives or your family culture, so you can weed your garden of any beliefs around self-care being selfish.  Self-care is mission critical and when we can provide it to ourselves (without guilt or justification), it creates space and allows us to move about our lives with more energy.  Can you identify ways you gave to yourself (in the name of self-care) this past year?  How were you able to do so?  Let the self-care steps you took this year lead you to more next year!
  5. Compassion.  As many of you have heard me say (more than once, I know), giving yourself compassion is the antidote to all that ails what being human entails.  Again, self compassion is not something taught to us, but it definitely is something we can learn if we understand that it will create space in our minds and bodies, freeing up our motivational energy to move forward with our dreams and aspirations in the new year.  Perhaps contemplate an experience from this past year when you experienced suffering (maybe you experienced a conflict with someone you care about, or did not succeed in something you wanted, or were physically ill).  Notice how you feel when you think of your suffering.  How does your heart feel?  Now ask yourself, “What did I need in that moment?”  Perhaps you needed comfort, soothing, or validation.  Try offering yourself what it is you needed, like you were offering it to a friend.  This takes practice, so click here if you are interested in listening to some guided self compassion meditations offered by Dr. Kristen Neff, a leading researcher on the transformative effects of self compassion.

As always, if you try any of these intention-setting ideas for holistic health, I would love to hear about the impact they might have had for you.  Please send me an email at linda@sanctuary4compassion.com to share!

5 Intention-setting Ideas to Open Your Heart

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The Attitude of Gratitude:  November is National Gratitude Month!

I love the fact that November has been designated as National Gratitude Month, giving the practice of gratitude the attention it deserves!

I have amped up my practice of gratitude this year as a way to keep my heart open.  I could feel myself pulling back and away, closing off my heart, because of the fear and restrictions that come with the pandemic.

To keep the fires burning to warm your heart, below I have offered some simple practices you might explore to celebrate this month and kick start your own gratitude practices.

  1. Say Thank You!  As we grew up, somewhere along the line, we were told to say “Please” and “Thank You” to others that do something kind for us to be polite.  Maybe our ancestors instinctively sensed that the act of saying “Thank You” had a more profound purpose.  My suggestion for consideration is to delve a bit deeper into the act of expressing this form of appreciation to another by bringing more awareness to this expression, being more conscious in our choice of when, how and to whom we express it.  For example, instead of simply saying “Thank You’ to someone that holds the door open for you as you enter a store, you might slow down and say “Thank you for being so kind and considerate to take the time to hold the door for me today.  I truly appreciate it”.  And then watch, listen and sense into the response!  And, if you are feeling even more adventurous, you might try it with a dear friend or family member.  Set an intention in the morning to catch a loved one “doing something good” and when you do observe them in the act, stop and thank them for what they did.
  2. Focus on the Positive.  Even when things in our life don’t go as planned, if you take some time to sit with the experience, you will be able to discover a unexpected benefit of the change in plans.  By doing so does not necessarily diminish the immediate impact of the sadness or disappointment; however, searching and finding the silver lining and appreciating the benefit has the amazing power of shifting us into an experience of more positive energy, creating space for a more balanced, equilibrated perspective and sense of being.  Consider trying it out today!
  3. Create kindness.  Here’s a fun idea you can do as a craft with friends and family and then share with anyone and everyone.  Collect a bunch of rocks and write something kind on each one.  Then go around your neighborhood or office park and place them where they can be easily found. To read more about this movement started by Megan Murphy, check out this website:  https://www.thekindnessrocksproject.com.  Trust that your message will find the right person at just the right time to change their life!  After you have placed your rock messages around, take some time to sit with yourself and reflect on how the experience in your heart has expressed itself.
  4. Honor our Service Members.  Feeling like you might want to stretch yourself a bit this month and go beyond our borders?  Perhaps consider writing a ‘thank you’ note or letter to a Service member.  Our Active Duty Service members are dedicated to making a difference in our lives without even knowing us.  And, although they may not admit it to many, combat is a scary place, even more so without the comforts of home for some solace.  Receiving an unexpected thank you from a stranger, acknowledging their contributions and sacrifice, might just fan their internal flame of dedication and validate their motivation to serve and protect our freedoms.  Check out Operation Gratitude to learn more about sharing your appreciation with the troops and cracking your own heart wide open!
  5. Write a letter to yourself!  Or maybe this month you are feeling a bit more reflective and sensing your heart needs a more intimate approach to cultivating gratitude.  Then may I recommend writing a ‘thank you’ letter to yourself.  The ultimate practice of kindness might be to express kindness to yourself.  See if you can identify at least 10 aspects that you love about yourself.  Maybe ask someone you care about deeply to do this practice with you and consider sharing what you come up with by saying them out loud to each other.  Again, sit a few moments afterwards to sense into the experience, especially noting the sensations around the heart.  I would love to hear about your observations!

As always, if you try any of these intention-setting ideas for holistic health, I would love to hear about the impact they might have had for you.  Please send me an email at linda@sanctuary4compassion.com to share!

Gratitude Journaling Improves Mental Health!

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Growing up in a chaotic home environment, whether as a result of job loss, divorce, mental illness or abuse, challenges the developing brain to grow from its survival parts to the parts that allow us to engage in the world in a way that brings a sense of acceptance, belonging, peace and abundance.  It gets us stuck in a reactive mode that operates from a place of lack and fear, where the lens we view the world through suggests the glass is half empty, not half full and that we will never have everything we need.  I know it did with me and the research tends to support my anecdotal experience, which has become a part of my own personal gratitude journal.

It was through my own personal yoga journey that led me to the idea – and ultimately the regular practice – of a gratitude journal over a decade ago.  I started slowly, simply identifying some very basic items (for me at that time while recognizing they might not be for many), such as writing down that I was grateful for the roof over my head, the bed that I had to sleep in, and the hot running water that provided a hot shower each morning upon awakening.  Some days that was all I could identify as far as what I was grateful for in the moment.  But with the encouragement from others, my list began to expand – and it didn’t take that long either!

I recognized how grateful I was for my sometimes daily yoga practice, my breath, the joy that my fur babies bring me, walking, the thoughtfulness of my friends, my car that allowed a greater sense of freedom in my experience of travel to and from my jobs, music, air conditioning on hot days and heat on cold days, the colors when the leaves change in the fall, sleep, movies, the internet, rain, the sound of a train whistle, the smell of a fire place, Eastern medicine, boredom, reading a good book, setting a healthy boundary, the sound of the ocean, the warmth of the sun on my skin, sitting still in nature and I could go on and on, as I found the practice of gratitude growing exponentially.

Then I decided to challenge myself in this experience, where I got curious about what I might find to be grateful for in those moments when life sucks, such as when we lose someone we love or fail to get something we worked hard for and really wanted.  Each night, I would open my gratitude journal and reflect on my day and delve into the challenging moments I experienced that day, whether it was a conflict I had with someone at work or the traffic accident I got stuck behind on my way home from work.  Through this effort to test the strength of my gratitude I discovered that there is a silver lining or benefit that serves us in all of our life experiences where we can feel gratitude if we are open to the shift in perspective that arises when we exercise those parts of the brain that support our growth and transformation.

So what was the result of my gratitude journaling practice?  Well, it has become a habit of mine!  So now, whenever something that others might perceive as negative happens, I stop, reflect and share a different, more positive perspective of the event or circumstance.  My felt response to this practice includes a greater sense of peace, trust, confidence, and a new, growing belief that all is as it should be which emanates from a deep, growing well of abundance.  I now see the glass as half full and encourage everyone to try it for themselves, reminding them to start small and watch how their list grows.  Then, when we do experience dark days – as we all will and do – we can read through our gratitude journals to remind ourselves that this too shall pass.

If my personal experience of cultivating gratitude isn’t enough to motivate you to start practicing immediately or continuing practicing, click on the link below to read up on the first randomized controlled trial (which is the gold standard in the research world) to test the impact of gratitude writing that demonstrated a positive, lasting impact on mental health:

Gratitude Journaling and Mental Health

5 Intention-setting Ideas to Support the Development of Santosha

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“Contentment is not the fulfillment of what you want, but the realization of how much you already have.”― Anonymous
With the holidays fast approaching, it is likely that our minds are kicking into high gear, with thoughts beginning to focus on what needs to get done before they arrive!  These types of thoughts tend to encourage us to reach for our “To Do” lists, possibly adding a boat load of tasks, lighting the fire under our expectations around what this time of year is supposed to bring.  And when expectations enter into the picture, we set ourselves up for suffering at the hands of disappointment.

I attended a workshop many years ago about letting go of my expectations as a way to reduce the stress of the holiday season.  I remember thinking “Why would I ever want to lower my expectations?”  It sounded like I was being asked to let go of my goals, which ran counterintuitive to my (at the time) Type A personality, but I was willing to try anything to avoid the inevitable pain that I came to experience when it came to this time of year.  When I tried it out that year, the result was one of the best gifts I ever gave myself!

Now, fast forward to my present day experience, where I have loosened my grip on my attachment to my Type A personality traits, I set intentions instead of having expectations, and I trust that the Universe will co-create something even better than I every could imagine by myself.  How did I get from point A to point B?  Well, it hasn’t always been a straight line, yet one particular practice has proven invaluable, especially at this time of year.  The practice is the development of Santosha, which is Sanskrit for contentment.  And even though the human mind’s default position is to worry or focus on the negative because it is what keeps us safe when danger approaches, it doesn’t mean that we can’t flip the switch by seeking the beauty, harmony and peace in every experience.Now, I’m not going to tell you it is easy.  It takes practice, just like any new sport or hobby you might want to take up.  So, if the idea of expanding the sense of inner peace sounds appealing to you, below are some ideas to support the practice of Santosha and I recommend trying them out now BEFORE the holiday season is upon us!

  1. Let go of what you can’t control.  When we really think about what is truly under our control, we quickly realize not too many things come to mind.  To support the expansion of our awareness of this adage – or something similar like “letting go instead of holding on” – you might want to write it down and put near your tooth brush so you can remind yourself on a daily basis, even several times a day.  As you allow this awareness to become more evident in your mind, also tune into the felt experience in the body too.  When you feel the pain of disappointment or loss, the body is informing you that you were probably trying to control something out of your control and had attached expectations to the outcome.  So try letting go of the need to control and the associated outcome expectations.  Not only will you reduce the pain that naturally accompanies loss but you will reduce the experiences of disappointment altogether!
  2. Stop comparing yourself to others.  When we spend our energy focusing on others, what they have that we want, we discount our own unique gifts and zap ourselves of the potential we have to live our dharma.  Instead, shift your energy to focus on discovering, cultivating, and growing your own gifts and notice how much more vitality and peace you experience.
  3. Look for the silver lining.  When we find ourselves stuck in a unhealthy or painful situation, it can be very difficult to tap into our reservoir of inner peace and contentment.  In those moments, I suggest sitting for a moment and ask yourself “How might this situation be serving me?”  Everything serves although it might take us a little while to figure it out.  Sometimes we find ourselves in situations in order to learn what we don’t like or want in our lives, especially when it doesn’t bring us comfort.  Use this information as a guide for moving forward in a different, more authentic direction for yourself.
  4. Develop discernment, don’t judge.  Judgment can sometimes be a mask for expectations.  We expect people to behave a certain way or to say certain things and when they don’t, we judge them.  Judgment is very contagious and when we catch ourselves judging another, we start to realize how much judgment has seeped into our experience, where are thoughts are now judgments of ourselves!  Instead, allow others to express themselves, however differently than you might express yourself, and consciously distinguish what is appropriate or inappropriate for you.  When we bring consciousness to our thoughts, we open up to discernment and, with discernment we make healthy choices for ourselves and uplift the collective consciousness at the same time.
  5. Practice gratitude.  Our social culture motivates us to spend a great deal of time, energy, and resources to create and generate, from simple ideas to literally concrete structures.  However, our culture does not encourage us to spend an equal amount of time, energy, and resources in appreciating what we have achieved.  This culture creates an imbalance and this imbalance disturbs our Santosha.  Think about how much effort it requires to cook a meal for our families and how little time it takes to eat it so we can run to our next expectation or commitment.  However, research has shown that if we took more time cultivating appreciation for what we already have, including the food we eat, we begin to expand our sense of contentment, bringing more inner peace into our minds and bodies and to the world.

5 Intention-setting Ideas for Self-Care Through This Holiday Season

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“If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete.” ― Buddha

With one of the most contentious presidential elections in recent memory still resonating throughout the world and the ‘season of giving’ fast approaching, I don’t believe I am alone in my felt experience of unease and restlessness.

Therefore, I spent some time in reflection around the questions of “What are the ways I take care of myself” and “What do I do to create a sacred, safe container for myself” in order to calm the uneasy and restless parts of myself.  I recognize that if I don’t honor my own inner states of unrest, then I am unable to maintain my connection to that still point within where my authentic self exists, where my essence of love and light dwell, and, thus, will not be able to continue to walk a heart-led life, being the light not only for myself but for those that are struggling to find their way out of the darkness.

I thought I would share the outcome of my reflections with you below, so that you might try one of the techniques for yourself, when you may begin feeling like you have given all that you have to give to others and are in need of a recharge or reboot:

  1. Breathe.  When we sense the weight of the world on our shoulders, feel unappreciated for all that we do, and experience our needs not being met or our voices being silenced, our bodies and minds subconsciously respond.  And one of the most noticeable ways in which to observe this response is through the breath.  We may begin to hold our breath or breathe very shallowly, which revs up our sympathetic nervous system, creating even more agitation in the body and mind.  Therefore, simply stopping to take a few deep breaths in and out through the nose several times a day, consciously noticing the belly expanding on the inhale and softening on the exhale, will help keep the parasympathetic nervous system engaged, supporting the ‘relax and digest’ response in the mind and body. If you also want to try a breath practice that has a way of clearing out the mind, especially of those unwanted thoughts, you might try Brahmari breath, also known as “Bee’s breath”.  There are several ways to practice this, but I find the most simple one being where you bring your pointer fingers to the external part of the ear that when you press into it, closes off the entrance to the ear canal, thus shutting out the ability to hear external sounds.  You may also want to close your eyes.  Then inhale normally through the nose and, as you close your eyes and ears, also close your lips and, as you breath out, make the sound of bees, like you are humming and maybe play with pulling your tongue back towards the back of your throat.  Do this three times.  You really can’t do it wrong, so have fun! Afterwards, sit for a moment and sense the results.
  2. Listen to your body.  Our bodies have much innate wisdom to offer the mind, yet our culture informs us to THINK instead of FEEL, creating a wall between the body and mind. You may not be aware of it, but our bodies will naturally burp when our stomachs are full, informing the mind that we have eaten all that the body needs to remain vibrant and healthy.  Unfortunately, most of us ‘eat on the run’ these days, so we don’t create space for the wisdom of our bodies. Maybe set an intention the next time you find yourself sitting down for a meal with your family (think Thanksgiving) to become aware of when the body first burps.  At first it might not happen or we might forget to listen – don’t give up.  Try again next time. Listen.  We have been schooled that burping is rude, so it might take a couple of times. Eventually, when you tune in, you will thank your body for its natural ‘full gas tank’ sound going off!
  3. Practice aparigraha.  Aparigraha, Sanskrit for non-attachment, suggests that our suffering comes from the disappointment that we feel when we are attached to an expectation, or outcome, and something else happens instead.  For this practice, I would start with something small, to test it out for yourself.  The holiday season can bring with it a recipe for unmet expectations, with the sparkling lights and songs on the radio filling our hearts with anticipation as we make plans to gather with friends and family, while, at the same time, our schedules get overloaded and our budgets get stretched thin.  So, in order to reduce a bit of the stress during this time of year, maybe begin by simply thinking about level-setting your expectations of how others ‘should’ act during this time of year, and that may include you.  If we create space in our minds and hearts to allow others to do what they need to do without wanting them to do what we want them to do, it makes room for us to do more of what we need to do to make ourselves more peaceful.
  4. Express gratitude.  Research has shown that when we consciously focus our minds on the abundance in our lives, versus focusing on the lack, we experience more peace and joy in our lives.  This holiday season is one of the best times to start a regular gratitude practice.  I recommend writing down those things that you are grateful for in a journal, although it can be even more powerful if you have someone to share the practice with each day.  Either first thing in the morning or right before you go to bed, you can share one (or more!) experiences in your life or day that you felt grateful for in the moment.  It doesn’t have to be something big and, in fact, it is the small things that seem to bring the greatest warmth to the heart.  For example, every morning I am grateful for having hot water for my shower and every night I am grateful for having a warm bed to rest my head.  Try it and I promise you won’t be sorry you did!
  5. Try SELF-compassion.  As the Buddha quote above suggests, the experience of compassion must be expressed to both others and to ourselves if we truly want optimal health. Our culture informs us to have compassion for others, especially those that are less fortunate than ourselves. Unfortunately, it is this same culture that drives us hard to be successful, where multi-tasking is glorified, and competition is the name of the game. So when we falter, and drop a ball or two that we have been juggling, we tend to be very critical of ourselves, maybe even thinking to ourselves that we are a failure or punishing ourselves in some way.  This inner critic can be very harsh, creating limiting beliefs and holding us back from real joy in our lives.  Instead, if we can practice offering ourselves the same loving kindness we offer to a good friend when they are suffering in some way, our bodies, minds, and hearts soften, opening to the lesson of accepting imperfection as the shared human experience. Ahhhh, feel the relief when we let go of the expectation of perfection (do I hear an opportunity to practice aparigraha?)!